Monday, September 17, 2007

Haunted

Lately I've been dreaming about people I haven't seen in a really long time. I've dreamed about old friends and lovers, about people I used to fear or distrust and about people I barely knew. There is nothing sexual about these dreams; most of the time I'm asking the people why they are here and what the hell do they want, it's been years since I saw them last. I'm not sure what has caused this night time trip down memory lane, but I'm not a willing passenger and I want my dreams about plates full of chocolate chip cookies back.

Last night's episode was about an old friend named Eric. Like most of the dreams as of late, I have no way of finding the person I dreamed about, and I'm not sure I'd want to. I have moved on with my life, and am not the person who knew these other people. My Mom firmly believes that if you have either a really vivid dream about another person, or a series of dreams about them, then you should find that person because they need you. Dreams are very important to my family. We have stories about talking to each other, dead relatives, and other equally crazy things in our dreams. My Grandmother swears she knew I was pregnant before I told her because she dreamed about it. My Mom says the same. And yet I don't want to take a can opener to my sealed past, dredging up old times better in memory than in reality. You can't go back.

The question remains, however. Why is my subconscious pulling out these people? I feel snippets of these dreams for days afterwards, and in the end I guess I just end up feeling haunted by my mistakes and lost companions. Should I find them again? Let the sleeping dogs lie? Seek a shrink? Whatever the reason for these dreams is, I'll be happy when this phase is over.

No comments: