Friday, October 26, 2007

Taking a chance

The sleep thing, otherwise known as "The Child Doesn't Sleep Thing" seems to be getting better. (Thank your local deity for me, will you?) The specialist's plan appears to be working, much to our surprise, and that means that both J and I are feeling much better. We're still tired, but not nearly as tired as we were the first few nights of "The Plan." I've been sewing again, and have made a smock and most of a dragon costume so far. I'll be finishing the costume tonight, and making our little Sugar a jacket this weekend. I have some really beautiful buttons and some classy black fabric, and I'm hoping to figure out how to post pictures (I've just been too tired/lazy up until now) so I can show off the results. I could also record the dismal failure, but I'm being optimistic here. Besides, the patterns are from "Bend The Rules Sewing" which I not only love, but can understand! It's so nice to find something printed that's both inspiring and do-able. Because really, my blog addiction is getting a tad out of control here.

Speaking of blogs, I took a chance and offered to do a "pay it forward" thing with another blog. I'm not sure if I qualify due to the massive amount of readers and comments I get daily, but we'll see. I'd love to be able to participate in something so positive and fun. But, well, we'll have to see. Perhaps if I can't do it this time I can next time, once I figure out how these things work.

Now, off to educate and entertain the Wee set. Have a fabulous weekend!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Babies

There are two problems with babies. The first is that they don't listen. "Go to sleep, baby!" you say. And there they are, crying and waking other people up instead of slumbering off to dreamland like a good little baby. Which leads me to the second problem with babies. They don't speak English, or any recognizable language for that matter. They just cry. Which, let's be honest here, can be a bit irritating at times. Freaking stubborn babies. Don't even get me started on how they won't use the toilet.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Waiting

I haven't felt particularly inspired lately. The desire to write, sew, play, read and basically make things, which is usually so strong, has all but left me in the past few weeks. Things are looking up, though, and tonight after the kids leave I'm going to go get some copies made. The images I'm copying are patterns from "Bend The Rules Sewing," a book that has actually inspired me to get of my hinder and make something. The projects are easy and quick, and are probably just what I need to get my ass in gear. I'm not sure what I've been waiting for, but today I feel like maybe I have just enough energy to get something done. Let's hope that energy is still around tonight.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

On the table

What I admire most about the bloggers I read is their honesty. These people lay out their lives on an autopsy table and let the rest of us look in at the blood and guts and imperfections. For most of the people I read this has changed their lives. There's Dooce, who lost her job, went into a mental institution after having a child, and now makes her living from her website. There's Rob Rummel-Hudson, who's daughter was diagnosed with an extremely rare and horrible brain disfigurement, and who has a book on it's way to bookstores based on his writing about his daughter's "monster." And there's Linda aka Sundry, who overcame alcoholism just in time to get knocked up, and writes about her changing life and imperfect mothering daily.

The other thing these people have in common is their membership in the parent club. They are all doing their best, and they all catch crap for their choices. I think that's shit, second-guessing someone's best efforts at this huge gamble of raising children. Especially when the children are smart, safe, well adjusted and loved. If it's not the way you'd do it, fine. Give some suggestions, or just shut the hell up. But no one seems to know what is right when it comes to kids and their weirdness, so there is no "right way." The kicker is that there definitely IS a wrong way. It's when you hurt your kids. Aside from that, pretty much anything goes.

When it comes to my online writing about being a parent, I am not completely honest and forthcoming, like the writers I just wrote about. They are the examples of how the internet can come back to bite you in the ass. Plus, I run a day care. So if I write about how I wanted to (hypothetically) just walk away from my life at points, or how I softly sang "Shut the fuck up and go to sleep" over and over again to my kid when she was 3 months old, well, then, who'd want to leave their kids with me? Clearly I'm unstable and can't be trusted. Except that's not true. I'm human, just like any other person who has popped out a wee one. And we're all flawed to hell in one way or another. It's when the judging happens that people forget that. People forget that they themselves spent exhausted nights crying on the floor out of desperation and despair. They forget those times because those are the Dark Times, and they hurt. But everyone has those moments. Some of us have them more than others, but we all get our share.

So if I'm a bit more honest here from now on, please remember that. Everyone needs an outlet, a place to vent what needs out to keep from blowing. I have a limited number of options in my life right now, so I've chosen this place as my pressure valve. My language has been misconstrued before and landed me with the shrinks. I've learned to be more careful with my phrasing. But for the record: I have never nor will I ever harm myself or others. I will put myself in the hospital if I ever even start to feel that way. To be honest, however, is not to be pretty. Honesty, like an autopsy, is not a pretty thing.

Caveat Emptor

Monday, October 1, 2007

Rabbit Rabbit

Right now I'm listening to thunder roll across our skies, and hoping it rains soon. It's been a hellacious morning, and an electric storm full of rumbles, rain and lightening would be a wonderful way to clear the air.

It's October, and that means one thing here in my house: Halloween. Every year we try to watch a horror movie each night in October. We've not made it through so far, but I have high hopes for this year. We kicked off our attempt this year an evening early, just because it fell on a Sunday and we could. We started with the best of the best: the original Frankenstein. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it was a great kick-off flick. Tonight we're going to take in Frankenstein meets Jesse James or something similar. (I'm really, really bad with remembering titles. That's J's job.) This is a bad horror movie classic, and it's almost criminal we haven't seen it before now. I'm looking forward to the badness. And the cuddled up on the couch aspect of our movie marathon...boy does having a kid mess that up for a while. On the other hand, I can't wait until she cuddled up on the couch with us, debating the finer points of any given genre film. She's so cool...