Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Back and forth

This morning I was laying in bed, feeling soft and warm, sleepy and comfortable. I was just starting to think to myself "Why would I want to mess with this? Things are going so well right now." And then I heard the quick plip plip plip plip of my little one trotting down the hall and into our room. She starts off every morning the same way: she trots down our hall, over to my side of the bed, and says either "Mommy!" or my favorite, "Good Morning!" It was Mommy this morning, and I scooped her up and covered her with kisses, and then tucked her in beside me.

I've had a really bad case of the baby-making urge, lately, and not just the practice part. I've been having the urge to get myself knocked up, which means I've had the urge to be violently nauseous for at least 15 weeks, give up all fun substances, gain 20 to 30 pounds and never sleep again. Oh, and apparently I want to pee constantly, too. But baby... to have another tiny squalling wrinkly thing to kiss and cuddle. To have a sibling for the little light in my life, you see? Hormone mountain.

There are two problems right now. The first is that if I get pregnant instantly, I won't be able to have any fun at our friends' upcoming party, and we've arranged for babysitting and everything. It's a once a year event, and I'd really like to go and have a good time. If I am pregnant and don't know it, well, I don't like to mix caffeine and preggers, so a whole day of party is right out. But if we wait until after the party, we're running the risk of a baby really close to E's birthday, and after that is the holidays. And everyone in my family, save myself, had their birthday then. E and my mom are November, my sister and dad are December (not to mention holidays) and J's family has an ass-load of B-days in January. So it's now or in two months, a baby this year or next. Hormones vs. Logic. I don't know, I just don't know.

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