Friday, May 2, 2008

the whole

I feel like I have so much to say, and yet so little.

I've finally finished ripping all the pockets off the pocket organizer I made. It needed to hang horizontally, and I made it vertical. (Does that make sense?) So I ripped off the pockets and am going to re-sew them today or tonight. So much re-organizing depends on this little project; I am excited to get it done and hung. The final touch will be grommets. I really hope I do OK with grommets, I'd hate to botch the whole thing at the last step. (I will of course practice first.) My Mom decided she wants a lilac bush for Mother's Day, so the pressure is off there. I may make her napkins or something anyway, because I found the best horse themed fabric ever. And it's just her style.

I didn't sleep as well last night, but I slept better than I had before the drug. The panic attacks have all but disappeared. I'm feeling less up and down, and a bit more mellow in general. Who knows? This might even return to family and craft blog, instead of crazy 101 blog. I hope so.

I've noticed lately that the blogs I really love are the ones that deal with both the good and bad of life. I really enjoy the optimistic, crafty "everything is sunshine and roses and HAPPY!" blogs, too, but they aren't whole. Life is good, yes, but it also has its moments of a less savory kind. There are a few blogs I read that the author is willing to admit that they aren't perfect, that they have issues as parents and as people. What I admire is the courage it takes to admit these things, then to improve and move forward. It's very hard sometimes to move on, to accept flaws and to own them, so that those flaws can be dealt with and life can move on.

I know I've been stuck in this place for a while. Thanks for wading through it with me. I'd like to move on now, to focus more on making things and what my little one and family are doing. I'm still going to mention how the drug is working, and how I'm doing in the head, because this is the first time I've ever kept a record, and it might be helpful later. But the focus? It shall change from whiny lady. Because dude, it's getting old.

Have a good weekend, and I'll see you Monday with pictures!


Karen said...

Heh heh... I found you! I am glad that you are feeling better today.

and isn't grommet a neat word to say? Grommet grommet grommet...

HollyLynne said...

I don't think you're whiny ... but I do wanna hear how the grommets go, so balance is good :)

greenemother said...

I hear ya! Sometimes all that
"lets be happy all the time" blogs get to me too. Your so right, because that's not how life is. Maybe if we all lived in the Truman show!