Thursday, June 12, 2008

Craft night

Last night I went over to a friend's house for a craft night we've been planning since February. It was awesome, and not just because I'd spent the day with two teething infants, two testing toddlers and two mildly indifferent toddlers. It was great to talk to someone while lazily working on a stuffed elephant for my girl. It was great to have a cherry coke, sit in a comfortable silence and pet a beautiful gray kitty. Most of all, it was great to feel a little creative again. That elephant is going to rock.

John made me take my xanax with me, but I didn't need it. I don't see the psychiatrist again until June 30, so I'm riding out the panic wave for the moment. Knock on wood, but I think it's going to be OK. If things deteriorate I'm calling her and getting there, even if I have to close the damn daycare again. Speaking of the daycare, I've figured out two things:
  1. Two infants teething is probably what gave me the most recent panic attacks.
  2. I'm not taking infants after this. I want to have another one of my own, but I think I've had enough of someone else's. I love these kids, but all day every day is burning me out, fast.
And what a lovely way to transition into my next topic: trying for another Wee of my own. John's been asking about trying again, and I'm not sure. Actually, I'm crapping-my-pants terrified. I loved being pregnant with my girl, and I love her more than anything. I just don't know if I have the reserves to go through another loss. On the other hand, I would like to give the girl a sibling, so she can stop pretending the baby boys are her brothers. For the moment I'm falling in to the "see what happens" camp. I'm building up my folic acid (after a baby with a neural tube defect you have to take mega-doses of folic acid. I'm taking 400% more than normal pregnant women, let alone non-pregnant ones. I have to do this for at least two months before I get preggers, just to be safe.) and I'm cutting down on drinking. I've started eating better again, and with yoga and summer, I'm getting lots of exercise. As scared as I am about miscarriage and defects and the like, I'm longing for another little one of my own just as much.

Well, "Sir I Take Two Months To Push A Tooth Through" is up. Gotta run!

1 comment:

HollyLynne said...

ooh, craft night!!! i wish some of my friends who actually live near me were crafters . . .that sounds like so much fun! And good luck with the wee . . . I'm going to send all the good thoughts I can your way!