Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Assholes come in all sizes

One of the bloggers I read religiously is All and Sundry. There's a link over on the side there if you're interested. Linda always speaks openly and honestly about raising kids, her life as Mom, wife, person that is neither of those things and so on. Because of her honesty she is often lambasted by other Mommy Bloggers (I hate that term) for her choices, as if there was only one correct way to do any one thing at any one time.

The thing I love best about Linda's writing is how accurately she describes what it's like to deal with children. You love them, but they can still be real bastards sometimes. Feeling like your kid needs shipped to Siberia after no sleep for three months in a row is normal, acting on this impulse is not. Sometimes writing about it helps ease the temptation to drop your kid off at your parent's house, ring the doorbell and speed away, laughing.

Case in point, there is a little boy here I adore. But he has been the biggest asshole EVER today. He keeps doing things he knows he is not supposed to do, like standing up on chairs and tables, pulling things out of drawers, and pulling things off the table. This is a developmental stage he needs to go through, but he's going through it for the longest amount of time I ever experienced. His Mom told me today that they are having no more children based on this aspect of his personality alone. The final straw was when I went into the bathroom to turn on the water for someone, walked back out and found him pulling things off the counter with both hands. The last of which was my camera. I have a nice camera, and there was no way he should have been able to reach it UNLESS he pulled everything around it off, too. Which he did. I yelled "NO!" as my camera hit the floor and the zoom lens bent sideways. The child them proceeded to run head-first into a cabinet, jump up, run to the coffee table, climb up it (as I was picking up my camera) and as I was turning around he jumped, smiling, off the table onto a basket.

He now has a shiner. My camera may or may not be OK. The kid's OK aside from the eye bruise, but you can see why I could easily start looking for a pack of wild dogs to raise him, can't you? To top it all off he's the screamer. I'm hoping this just seems a little more intense because of hormones, but man oh man could I use a stiff drink right now.

So, the guy that cuts you off in traffic? The co-worker who is rude, wears too much perfume or is constantly back-stabbing? Chances are they made someone miserable as a child, too. This little guy, though, I'm sure he's going to grow up to be a sweet, gentle young man. Who sky dives or hang glides or base jumps. But he'll cuddle you after!

1 comment:

Karen said...

Someday, he will have a little boy, and he will rue this day... oh, yes, he will rue this day... :)