I was driving home last night, trying to put the hot mustard on my egg roll while driving in the dark, burning my mouth with hot egg roll and wondering just when I had become immune to spicy mustard. I got my hair cut short(er), it's got some really snazzy purple streaks, and now takes a pea-sized amount of shampoo to wash. I made myself a new necklace, which I should have taken a picture of and yet did not, featuring my fertility lady. I wore her throughout my pregnancy with E, and figured it was time to put her back on. She immediately broke a few bad habits, and prevented me from engaging in some questionable behaviors. I can't go into detail, but I'm living and eating healthy from now on out. Putting on the fertility symbol always feels like an instant switch to me, transferring from god to Goddess, from mom to Mom, from trying to get pregnant to Ready To Be Pregnant. Perhaps it's an outward symbol of an inward readiness. I don't know. I do know that when I put her on I feel like I'm putting on armor. Which is pretty cool.
Back to the egg rolls-I went out to get my hair cut and get some non-vegan food because I need a haircut as much as I needed to get away from my husband. I love this man, I adore and need this man, but he still makes me want to chew my own head off on a regular basis. I think that some degree of this comes with any long term committed relationship; it's unavoidable when you've spent long amount of time listening to someone else snore, learned all their nervous habits and have repeatedly asked them not to scrape their teeth on their fork when they eat. (uuugh-shudder) As long as the love is more powerful than the annoying ticks, you're doing OK. But when you've spent several weeks trying to track down his old, beloved buddy from high school, and you've finally found a phone number and you're just about to call it to see if maybe a bunch of the guys could get together around the holidays and you're guy is sitting beside you and suddenly tells you to stop ~ mumbling later something about not needing to revisit his past ~ you might want to throw something at him. Because you were doing something nice, something you thought he'd really love, he was in the dude's wedding, after all, and instead you get a bunch of "thanks, but no thanks" and very little reason behind it. He also hid his college transcripts from me and actually, no shit, said "Mine."
Really, dude? Are you serious? I do almost all the housework, am getting ready to probably get hemmoriods so that we can have another child, I scrub toilets and showers and wash your underwear, and my attempt to look at your transcripts with you after setting up your appointment with the college and getting a bunch of info about the program and its requirements for you, your reply is "Mine?" Needless to say, if I am pregnant it didn't happen last night. I was too irrationally irritated.
Moving on: tonight I will be finishing a blanket for one of my families. I will be watching something on our Netflix box and making gifts. I will also go to the pharmacy to pick up my %$#@^#^% meds, which will run upwards of $70. They keep me from actually throwing things at my beloved husband's head, though, so they are worth it. He really is a wonderful guy, if a bit perplexing at times. Maybe I'll put makeup on him while he's sleeping this weekend. That'll make me feel a LOT better.