Wednesday, November 25, 2009

From articulate to "NO!" in less than 24 hours

Yeah, that post in drafts? Still there. My free time is somewhere in Amsterdam right now having a swell time without me. But! I do have things to share.

Yesterday was my very first parent teacher conference! I say "my" because John couldn't make it. It's the end of the month during the busiest month of the year for title insurance, and he just couldn't skip out. So I went to face the music solo. I was excited, but also nervous. What if she was mean? Or picked on? Or pushy? Or a pushover? So much to worry about, and she's only four!

It turns out that I had very little to worry about. She is the most articulate student her teacher has ever had (what?) and she is a model for including others. Yay! She does cry or hover over people when they have something she wants, but that is apparently getting better. 99.5% great, and I will take it.

Then today happened. My girl has managed to wear herself out, and spent today yelling "NO!" and "I don't WANT TO!" and the like. She took a nap. I was ready to sit on her to get her to sleep, but she did it herself. That's saying a lot for a girl who detests sleep. She's a much pleasanter little munchkin right now.

B is rocking right now, too. She's 18.5 pounds, 26 inches long, teething like a bear and cute as a button! She's slowly starting to grow hair, which is coming in reddish, so she might be a red head like her sister. We're still not sleeping through the night, but that's OK.

I wish I could write more, but my attention is being demanded. I hope you have a great Tofurkey Day, and Holly Lynn, you enjoy those eats. They will never taste better!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Crap

It's been so looooong!

I'm still here, just hanging on by my fingernails. I have a post in drafts to finish up, you'll get it soon.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

They eat time like candy

Having two kids is kind of like living in a black hole that absorbs time instead of light. I love them both more than life, but Mama needs to take a bath. A long one. In solitude and silence. Please.

As I type this B is sitting in her chair next to me grabbing toys and trying to get them in her mouth. And smiling. Scratch that, she's SMILING! There is nothing little about her smile. It's huge and gummy and adorable. It gets me through my day. Literally. Thank heaven for little girls that eat faces and grab hair and roll over occasionally. And that squeal when happy. YAY!

Tonight I have physical therapy, then I'm going to sign up for my first photography class. Then I'm going to haul ass on E's Halloween costume, because we are days away, and it is not finished. I overestimate the time I have on any given day by 75%, so I need to get some serious work done. Haven't even thought about my costume yet. If nothing else I'll use last year's and just paint my face to be dead. That always works!

I love baby yawns. Just thought I'd throw that in.

In surprising news, it seems that E can read. Holy shit. Once that clicked, it clicked! She's now writing letter combinations and sounding them out. It's been lots of fun for all of us. I may have no time, but I have a lot of fun!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Shredded

You can file this under "it figures:"

I went to physical therapy tonight and was given a thorough once-over. I was put in traction for a little bit after some ultra-sound therapy and a deep heating treatment. I was advised not to "bounce, jump, use weights or arm motions up or in front of my body." That pretty much kills 30 Day Shred for right now, eh? With any luck this should only last a week or two, and then I'll be back on track. But still, dammit. I was psyched, I was ready, I was committed. So instead of busting my ass with Jillian tonight, I walked away my pounds with Leslie. I've been hanging out with Leslie on and off for about six years now, and I can repeat the workout with her. I despise it. It's better than nothing, though. Annoying, but beats a brick to the head. I'm hoping my PT works very quickly.

This can be filed under "unexpected:"

John has decided to take a break from classes next quarter, which means I'll be taking my photo class with no problem. He's stressed, tired and needs a break apparently. I'm worried that he'll just quit school, but I also agree that his class load is too much this quarter, and that he is tiredm, stressed and needs a break. Adding to the stress is the fact that almost all the classes are online and our computer really wants to shit the bed right now. It's running terribly slow, it runs its fan all the damn time, and you can hear it wheezing in its old age every time John tries to load his GIS stuff. He just walked by and told me that he is "so OK with this!" so I guess he's looking forward to some time off.

Not to be filed:

My poor, old cat is wheezing. She has asthma (apparently) and the thing I use to give her her medicine is broken. I have not been able to make it to the vet this week to get her stuff made into a liquid with a new dispenser, so she sounds horrible. This cat is somewhere around 15 or so, is my cat and loves me. She really loves me. She picked me, sleeps on me, follows me around and talks to me. Therefore I feel very guilty that she is so wheezy, since I am her person and responsible for her. Tomorrow I WILL make it to the vet and get her steroids. The wheeze will stop and my kitty will feel better. Poor kitty!

And for those of you who have read this far: B rolled over today! W00t!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

30 Day Shred challenge and The Invasion

One: If you read Indie HomeEc, go there now. If not, your loss. Yay!

Two: I am going to do something really stupid for 30 days. Can you guess what it is? Yes?! You are bright people. I am going to kill myself by working out to 30 Day Shred for 30 days. I started tonight. Here are the basics:
  • I will do 30 Day Shred for 30 days. Those will not be consecutive days; I have a baby, people. But as close to consecutive as possible. Fridays are optional. It's my freaking night off. My. Only. One.
  • I am starting at level 1, with no weights. We will see about weights after I talk to the physical therapist tomorrow. I am trying to get healthier, not cause myself more pain. However, if it's OK's, I will start using weights. I'll see how much they weigh once we get there. (Can't remember, too lazy to get up after working out.)
  • I will move up levels, etc, once I can do level 1 with weights and without feeling like I am going to die. This leads to...
  • I need to get my inhaler back. That exercise induced asthma sucks ass. Doctor was supposed to write me a script for one last time I was in, but forgot. Not sure how to proceed on that one. Dammit.
  • I am not changing my eating habits one damn bit. Fuck you, Jillian Anderson and your skinny ass. Wait! I actually love you! But I am still going to eat what I want when I want. Let's see you make me lose weight on those terms, eh lady?
  • By this time tomorrow all you will hear from me is "ow ow ow ow ow ow."
  • I'm going to list my stats here for all to see and lament. I mean, you will feel better about yourselves! Because my stats are sad. But! If they are public, then I will be more motivated to continue. *sigh*
  • I loves me some bulleted lists!
Stats, Day One:
  • Weight: 176.5
  • Bust: 43"
  • Waist: Check back next time. Too lazy to find tape measure.
  • Hips: 43" ish. *See previous line.
  • Feeling about myself naked in the mirror: Wah + 2 kids + oh dear god, this is sad.
Revealing look, isn't it?

Finally, THE INVASION...

Every year we get hit with what those of us 'round these parts affectionately refer to as "The Ladybug Invasion." It is also known as "Those Fucking Ladybugs" and "That Time of Year When It's Fun To Watch People Walk Outside Because Of The Dancing and Spitting." Thousands of ladybugs fly past our area this time of year, for some unknown reason. I've never seen anything like it. They get into your house every time you open your door, and even when you don't. They are everywhere. It's as cool as it is awful. Today I took the kids outside and spent a fair amount of time rescuing ladybugs from a cruel squishing fate, brushing them off myself and the baby, and getting them out of hair. It was 72 outside, though, so we needed to be out. There are maybe 10 days like this left this year, then we are stuck inside and miserable. Bugs or no bugs, we were going to get some fresh air and sunshine. I'll let you know if any other cool invasion stuff happens.

Right now, however, I'm going to go upstairs and go to sleep. John's stuck on a long, stupid assignment for a three credit class and is pretty severely pissed off that he's already been working on this thing for 1.5 hours and it is less than half finished. For a stupid 3 credit class. He hates them with a Golem-level hate. Poor guy. The 3 credit classes are always the ones that have the most assignments, and the most time consuming busy work. I, however, need my sleep. So I'm going to kiss the dude and call it a night. I have shredding to do tomorrow, and lots of "ows" to get ready for!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Fail and frustration, can they equal Win?

So once again time has flown. At least this time it was less than two weeks between posts! Currently we are struggling with a day care cold. One child is out with a temp of 104, but his parents were on vacation anyway. I hope we missed that window of contagion, especially with my tiny B. Those fevers are scary. So far the rest of us just have headaches, runny noses and a bit of the sore throat. E, B and I waited for two hours, in the cold, Saturday to get flu shots for those of us over 6 months old. It sucked, but it's done. Now we are ill-ish. Things could be worse, though, and John made us some awesome Indian food last night to get our blood moving. After dinner my lungs cleared out with that good spicy-food-hack that means so much to me. My lungs are much better!

B is doing great, by the way. As is E. I have some fun pictures of our trip to the pumpkin patch this weekend, but in order to post them I need to get on the other computer, which is tough these days. John is on it all the time for school, and I can't leave the kids unattended, even during naptime thank you two year old boys, to hop on and upload pics. I'm going to try tonight while John's at class. So the next post might be all photos. You wouldn't mind that, would you?

Speaking of photos, John mentioned today that he forgot to take a class. I don't know how that happens. Anyway, this means I might not get to take my first photography class next quarter. On one hand, there's no rush, I was planning on taking one class a quarter until John's finished with his degree. Maybe less, depending on how life's going. On the other hand, I was really looking forward to this class, and having it help me get through the horrible winter months. A distraction, if you like. It would be something to do, and also a step towards a new job once this one if done. I'm going to beat this one until the current kids are in school, at least in the most likely scenario. But I'd like to take a few steps towards that new, potty-training-free life. I'm looking at a way to pay for most of the class myself, if not all of it. I also need to save up for Christmas, because I want to spoil my hard working husband. Kid's gifts come out of the family account, but we pay for the other person's gifts ourselves. So using my personal funds for class is out. I'm going to set up an account through a website my mom told me about and take Christmas pics of the kids and try to sell them to their parents. No idea if this will work or not, but hell, it's worth a try. I really want to take that class.

That's been the over-riding thought in my mind these days-free. I love my kids, and love the kids I watch. I really do. However, they are small, and underfoot. I would love to enjoy the fact that I now move slowly through my days, but I don't. The days still rush by, I just get less done and I have more to do. I am never free of the arguing. I am never free to go where I want when I want. Even a day trip is difficult, let alone a weekend away. I am always addressing the needs of someone, usually a demanding someone, who wants food to go in or to clean up the stuff that comes out. I feel like all my time is spent cleaning, and it's a Sisyphean effort. John tries to help, but 1) he's in school; 2) he's not the best at housekeeping; 3) I'm not the best at telling how best to help. While I love what I do a lot of the time, I also feel trapped by it. I adore my children, but I want a week to myself at this point. Not likely while breast feeding. John has talked about having another baby someday, and while I love the baby cute and pudgy, smiling and adorable right now, I know what's coming. I know the tantrums, the fits, the hurts and heartbreaks. I know what pregnancy is like, and nursing, and birth. All wonderful, and hard. I also know what losing a baby is like. I've lost three. I don't know if I'm up to handling that again, either. My friend once told me that being a parent is the hardest thing you'll ever do, and also the best. It's true, so very true. But now the kids are getting up, and I'm needed back in the fray. Hopefully I'll see you sooner as opposed to later!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Holy Moly!

I can't believe it's been this long since my last post again. Damn! Things have just busy here, especially with a baby who feels that nap time is her time with Mommy. It's OK with me, but it means you guys get neglected. Plus I've been having some computer issues that have kept me from posting: viruses and the crap. Luckily my brother-in-law was in town this weekend and he fixed us right up. He rocks!

Oddly, or not so oddly, I have been crashing really early lately. 9 is a usual time now, and that means I'm getting nothing done. I have piles of laundry in my room that are well over 5 feet tall. It's clean, but I haven't folded it. E's Halloween costume is nowhere near done, or even started. Nevermind the cleaning, etc. Bleh.

Other than the huge life-pile I am wallowing in, things are OK. We are contemplating my return to school, John's continuation of school, the holiday travel situation, and more. B is growing too fast, E is writingand starting to read, and the cats are nuts. Same old.

This post is really, really dull.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Friday night Follies

I am, yet again, up too late. My ideal life lets me stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning and sleep in until around 10. Someday, baby. Someday I will get there.

So. It's been a wine kind of night. And I've been thinking about this year, and all the life that has happened.

Before E was born a family came to our sunday morning meeting place. It's a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, which means no preacher, all religions are fine, even athiests. It's liberal religion. And damn proud of it. A former member came back with her husband and son, and gave a Service on being a mother. Mother, I mean. With the capital. It was shortly after a miscarriage and pregnancy terminated due to a lethal defect. I didn't know it a the time, but I was pregnant with E. I ended up leaving the service and going into the bathroom to lose my shit, quietly, when the speaker-the Mother-asked everyone to get together into small groups and talk about their experiences as parents. I couldn't do it.

As you can imagine, the memory sticks out. And now that woman is dying of cancer. Not dealing with, or treating. but dying of. She wrote a post a few days ago about how she only has a few months to live, and asked for any suggestions of things she leave for her kids to remember her by. She is also spending every minute she can with them.

I want to fix her. I want to help. To stop this. To give her the time to watch her children grow. To have secrets. To fall in love. To go to a dance, or to have a child. I still remember her long black braid, and her story about her son, who started kindergarten this year, finally ate a whole sweet potato. Her husband played the banjo and had a rat tail. I think. He's fuzzy.

It's just too short. And too beautiful to let go, doesn't it seem? It can also seem so cruel.

So as not to be a total downer, and giving me hope that things are still OK most of the time, here are some images from the Hubble.

And now it's time for me to go to sleep, and hope for extra sleep tomorrow.

Friday, September 25, 2009

babies, fairies and little dudes

First: BABY! She's been growing. B can now grab her stuffed lion, pull it up to her face and snuggle it. Right now she is massaging the little guy with happy kitten paws, opening and closing her hands and smiling at his soft, orange mane. She has been smiling a lot lately. And talking to us. Yesterday she stopped nursing for a minute, looked up at me and said "goo." She has done this a few times, but yesterday she also smiled, then snuggled back into me and resumed her milk snack.

The differences between E and B are astounding. I thought E was an easy baby, despite the fact that I started this blog to vent my frustration that she never slept. We called her Sumara (from The Ring) and I vividly remember weeping, oh the weeping, because you couldn't lay her down. E had GERD, which is baby reflux. It sucks for babies. It kept her up all the time, and she is stubborn anyway. B, on the other hand, is like me and enjoys her rest. She is an easy, easy baby. She is already trying to roll. She doesn't squirt poop across the house every time you remove her diaper. She loves her sister and her daddy. She plays. She makes me happy even when I think my head will explode from the stress of little boys.

Second: FAIRY! E has cycled through many costume ideas. I bought a pattern for Robin Hood, and then she switched to "The King of the Crystal Kingdom." I think it has something to do with Dora. So I was going to make a crown and use the same pattern. Then, at the urging of her best buddy she switched to fairy. I did my best, but the RH pattern was not acceptable. So I bought a fairy costume pattern, which is gorgeous. I'm using my free night tonight to go get the material and some pattern tracing paper, which I keep forgetting. I need the tracing paper for a pattern from Weekend Sewing-my Halloween costume maybe. Fairies have been a big deal around here lately, so much so that we are all hoping that the Fairy Craft book I ordered comes today! I want to make fairy houses with the kids, but they are still a bit too young to get it, and the boys are destructive. Which brings me to...

Third: LITTLE DUDES! The two boys are both 2, which is a challenging age with just one child. Having a duo is killing me. One likes to do what I've just asked him not to do one more time. It can be infuriating, especially when what he's doing is dangerous. The other loves to run head first into things and take toys from everyone else. Dealing with these two has kick started my desire to return to school and find a new career. The only program from our local college that interests me and is mostly online is digital photography, but it sounds great. Plus, the certificate is all online and applies to the degree. Landscape Design is also sounding good, but isn't offered online. I don't need to decide right now. ~Just to let you know, it has taken me over two hours to type this. I need to blog at naptime. During the day means constant interruptions...silly me. I thought I could finish this while the kids were eating !~

Anyway, you might hear from me tonight, but you might not. Organizing the craft room is on the agenda after buying fabric, so I might get busy with that. In either case, have a great weekend!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

by my fingernails

Right now I am sitting on my couch with a nursing infant (just put her down-typing with two hands! Weeee!) and my nearly four year old, who will not for the love of God go to fucking sleep. The last couple of days here in day care and life in general have been stressful, and hectic, and did I mention the shoulder muscle? It still sucks. It's tingling right now which means Real Pain! in about an hour. My sweet, wonderful mother came by to pick up the driving aprons I made and bring the girls some shirts from their aunt and uncle, recently returned from Aruba Honeymoon. She also brought me some Chai tea, which is the only reason I am not clinging to the ceiling at this moment.

Now that the aprons are finished, and I don't even care if I get paid for them because I am so glad they are just DONE, I am going to move on to my fun sewing. There's a dress I'd like to make, a Halloween costume or two, and then some blankets for individual play for the kids. I'm happy to be moving on to some no expectation projects. I've decided that anything I am hired to do will never be good enough for me. Oh shit-I still have some curtains to do for my friend who just had her baby. Damn. This is the last time I do curtains for anyone. Ever. I hates them, I do. Ah, well. Onward, whilst keeping calm and carrying on.

Last night I took my Grandmother to an open house for a massage place. It's the lady she's been going to for years, and someone I've seen a few times. I stopped going when she put me in a shower thing that ended up being cold water (it was malfunctioning) but didn't leave me a towel, or come back for almost half an hour. That's a long time in cold water. I'll be going to the new place a few times, though, because I need to get this shoulder thing worked out. She has a few new people there, one is an acupuncturist, the other does "Quantum Touch" and Reiki. He was on about the same level as a Snake Oil salesman as far as I am concerned-I felt nothing. I might try the acupuncture, and definitely the massage. If nothing else, it'll be nice to relax a bit!

Holy crap, I think the girl's asleep!

I broke down yesterday and ordered a Fairy Craft Book from Amazon, as well as 30 Day Shred and a relaxation yoga DVD with the Dali Lama on it. He speaks on it, I mean. I'm excited to get started on both DVDs, and the book is for fun projects to do with the kids. However, ordering the workout DVDs must have had a big impact on me, because last night I dreamed I was the Dali Lama-which was a big surprise to everyone, including me. I also had a dream that I went on a trip with my Dad, E and one of the day care kids. Weird, weird. There was really no point to that entire paragraph, except that I am super geeked to get back on the workout train. My goal is 20 pounds, which is what 30 day shred promises to help me lose. I don't need to do it in 30 days-60 or 90 would be fine. I just want to go down a pants size or two, and be a bit more toned. Oh, and not have a stomach that looks like something grew to a huge size in it then came out, leaving me with a stretched and distorted paunch. You know, little things.

B is doing great! She's almost rolling over, which I took pictures of. Will post them before she goes to college, promise. She stopped nursing at one point today to say "Goo!" to me. Too damn cute!

Beck came to visit on Sunday for a bit, and brought me my quilt. It's gorgeous! Pictures of it will be up soon, too. Hopefully. If I can get out of it/off it for long enough to take those pictures.

And for my final pointless thing: I am off to order fabric catalogs. I read about one on craft gossip, which I would link to but my laptop's being a bitch and randomly re-routing sites on me. Anyway, I read about a fabric catalog, requested one, and now want more. I haven't received the first one yet, but flipping through pages and pages of fabric sounds wonderful to me. Off to explore!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Time flies!




How the hell has it been over two weeks since my last post?! Oh yeah, baby in the house.

Who is doing well, has clear, smooth, kissable skin now. And who is sleeping in four hour stretches most of the time at night. Hell yeah!

Which is not to say I am not too tired to be rational. Apparently I have been composing blog posts in my head and leaving them there, which explains why I was so surprised when I saw the date of my last post. The naptime posting has been circumvented by my passing out at naptime. Or nursing. I really hate typing more than two words with one hand, so posting while nursing is not an option. To get you up to date:

Sister = married. The ceremony was gorgeous, the day was perfect, and the while thing was stressful as hell for me. The time frame was not set up to handle two children, especially one that was eight weeks old. I didn't have time to nurse or pump, but tried. Once the wedding and reception were over, I was very relieved. The best part was watching my sister and her husband dance; they looked so very happy. I cried more at her wedding than I did at my own. That's how happy I am for her! E did an awesome job as a flower girl. She was spectacular the entire weekend, and we had a great time with her.

B's face has cleared up completely, and I kiss her tons now that I'm not worried about irritating her baby skin. She is smiling, has laughed a few times, and she "talks" to her Dad a ton. I get a little conversation, but she's a Daddy's girl. John is smitten!

I have developed what appears to be a pinched nerve in my left shoulder. I've always carried my stress there, but now it radiates up my neck, down my back and my arm. It hurts like the Dickens. I am setting up a series of closely spaced massages on the area, and if that doesn't work I'm off to the doc. In the meantime John has kindly offered me some of the meds left over from his back. It took a few months, but I am ready to use them if I need to.

E has started preschool, and is LOVING it. She is doing really well as far as we can tell. She has made a friend named Charles. He is the only friend she talks about. Tuesday night she told me that he is brown all over, and that she loves his brown! I just read an article about children and race, so this has the perfect opportunity to talk to her about it. We talked about how Charles looks different, but is the same on the inside, and how much I like all the colors people can come in. She decided she did, too. I hope I handled that well-it's so hard to know how these things will work out. Honestly, though, I am very happy her first friend at school is brown all over. Mine was too, and after that I never worried about the color of my friends, because she had been such a good start.

I have a paid sewing job-I'm making driving aprons for my parents. OK, the paid job is from my parents, but I'll take it. The aprons sell for $65+ on the websites the kids use these days, and they are easy as hell. I might have a new business here. I have three projects lined up after these aprons: a kimono dress from Weekend Sewing, some small blankets for the kids to use as personal space here at the day care, and PJ pants from old sheets for gifts during the fast approaching holiday season. I plan to pair them with a shirt for PJs and maybe a sachet or a book. You know, a bedtime set.

The daycare is going well. The weather has been gorgeous, so we get outside a lot. We've been doing a lot of fun stuff, having a good time for the most part, and getting back into our groove. I think I might be able to hang with this job until I get back through school, which is a whole other post. Now I need to go clean the crap out of a kid's rear, which is my day in a nutshell. Hope you have a great weekend!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Surprises, surprises

Howdy! Remember that IUD I was so very excited about? Well, it had a side effect . One that I had to call my doctor about and make sure was Not A Big Deal. She had warned me that I might spot a bit after it was implanted, and I was also warned that the process itself felt like a strong contraction.

I felt nothing, and then started bleeding. Bleeding! Not spotting, but "Oh crap!" bleeding. I was fine, but it ruined my plans for the evening. No one warned me about that possibility. BE WARNED! Do not schedule babysitting for the night you get your IUD, or you may just waste a night of babysitting. Dammit.

Then, the next day our printer died. I never realized how much we used the damn thing until it was gone. We now have a shiny new printer, that is shiny. And black. And shiny!

The weekend was a mixed bag. There's been a lot of getting ready for the wedding going on, since my sister gets married on Saturday. In Toledo. Not only do we get to take a nice long car trip, we end up by a lake! But the lake is near Toledo, so it's only 75% glamorous, instead of 90%. I'm looking forward to the festivities, seeing John in a suit (handsome man!) and dancing with my kids. I broke my toe yesterday, so the only thing I'm not looking forward to is walking in high heels, but hopefully that part will be short. I'm so happy those two are getting hitched!

E has started preschool. She was so excited the first day that she peed her pants 3 times. Luckily none of them was at school. She did a great job, and is currently on her second day. She doesn't go every day, so we've had some time to work on going to the potty no matter how excited we are. Hopefully she'll remember that at the wedding. A flower girl that smells like pee is not much fun.

Finally, the rash on my baby: it was an allergic reaction to Johnson & Johnson's Head To Toe Baby wash and Snuggle dryer sheets. We are in the process of washing everything we own, but her cheeks are cute and cuddly again. Poor kid seriously looked like we rubbed her face in gravel.

I'm off to finish hemming John's pants and to finish up the flower girl basket. Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

quiet moment

Forgive errors in this post-I am typing while nursing B and I am not a lefty. It's slow going.

Concerning my last post: I do, in fact, have eyebrows. You just can't tell in those pictures. I'd had a bit to drink.

So far the week is going well, although at around 10 am yesterday I was ready to call someone and tell them how much I f'n hate my job. By 4 we were great, and today's been pretty good. I am letting go of a lot of things here, like making sure everyone eats most of their food. As long as food has entered their system, great. I'm not going to stress about it. Letting go is harder than I ever expected it to be, but that's true in all parts of my life.

I will be posting pictures of the baby soon, just as soon as the awful rash she has clears up. Maybe before, but the poor thing looks like a teenager on steroids. Some of it is the normal baby acne, some appears to be heat rash, maybe. I really don't know. I called the DR and no one there is concerned, so I'm trying to roll with it. I have been dressing her in much cooler clothing, and sometimes just diapers. It's not that hot here, but hell, I'm doing my best. She seems happier nearly nude. Who am I to argue?

Tomorrow I get my IUD, which is a big deal to me. I have never had great experiences with birth control for several reasons. One reason is hormones: messing with mine means meltdowns of epic proportions. My hormones can take me out of ability to function status, so I like to leave them the hell alone when I can. The second reason is my sieve-like memory, which makes the pill ineffective at best. You need to take that sucker every day. Condoms suck. My last OB recommended a spermicide for BC, which I later found out is just as effective as pulling out, but with the added benefit of foam. I am shuddering right now at the memory. So aside from the foamy spermicide after E, which was a short lived effort, I've just been lucky with John. (Pun not intended, but funny) Now I'll be protected for 10 years, able to enjoy myself, and it's hormone free. Things are looking up!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday Night Follies




I like art.

I reaally like art.

I like faces. I love the black and white portraits of old faces and young faces and freaks.


I love how an artist can make you look at something a new way; help you see a new side to any situation.

I have had a glass or two of wine to celebrate my last Friday of maternity leave.

Can you tell?


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Clever title forgotten


Hi!


I missed you.

No, really. We've had an extensive adjustment period here, and things are getting ready to get back to our new normal. Which means that there's a possibility of nap-time blogging again! I hope you're excited, too.

While I was away I learned some basic crochet. OK, that was yesterday. I've also learned how to manage two kids during bath time, get nothing done and everything done at the same time, and to sweat profusely at all times. The postpartum stuff is largely over with, and yesterday I had the most important of doctor's visits. My postpartum checkup.

I am proud to tell you that I can now take a bath, go swimming, pick up E, exercise and all other activities, save one. The Big One. I can not resume "relations" for another week. There are a few reasons for this: 1) I still appear to have a few stitches. Oh, joy. 2) I am getting an IUD next week, and I am not supposed to do anything before that. I don't know why. But in one week I will be fully protected from getting knocked up again for 10 TEN! years, and for only $25. Woot!

Baby needs me, gotta run. More pics soon!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Just like that girl on the front lawn at every kegger

Saturday morning our little family of four got all bold and brave and went down to Hocking Hills for a hike. We decided to hike a new site, Ash Cave. One of the reasons we picked that site was the paved path, which was supposed to make it an easy hike for the mama, who gave birth a measly three weeks ago and is still supposed to be taking it easy. Long story short, I was feeling OK and ended up going on the MUCH more difficult rim trail with the family.

I spent the following day passed out.

Now, I am under orders, just like all new moms, to take it easy with the stairs. I mentioned this fact to John when he asked me if I wanted to hike the rim trail with him and E. But the trail wasn't rated as especially difficult, and we saw lots of little kids coming down at the end, so I figured "what the heck?" I think the kids we saw went halfway and turned around, because we started at the other end, and had to detour around a large mass of fallen trees. Trees that were falling off a cliff. I'm not sure which initially exhausted me more: the hike itself or the anxiety that my family, complete with three week old strapped to her dad, would slide off the edge of the cliff. Going around the trees was the hardest part of the hike, because there was no trail and we were going up and then down a very steep incline with small children. By that point I knew I was in over my head, but had no choice but to finish. Sunday I found out that my midsection has places that are still very sore, and that stairs are nothing compared to a cliff hike. Oh, and that I am an idiot.

Ash Cave, however, was beautiful. The hike started with us getting to the site, E peeing her pants (she would have made it except for a very slow guy in the latrine) and us trying to figure out what to do. After the pee incident, however, everything went wonderfully, tree detour aside. We had a great day, did our grocery shopping on the way home, and then John got his night off and I took B for the night. We've been trading nights on the weekends for sanity's sake. That way one of us gets a good night's sleep at least once a week. Yay!

My Mother In Law is coming to visit this week. According to rumor, she should arrive today. We will be visiting the zoo this week, I have a dress fitting on Friday and my sister's bridal shower and bachelorette party on Saturday. And tons to do to get ready for both, so I better motor.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

How to lose sleep and make new people

I've read a lot of birth stories lately, and by comparison mine seems pretty plain. I woke up Friday morning two weeks ago, and cuddled with E, like we'd been doing all week. Then I stood up to go to the bathroom, and I felt a little "gush" of fluid, which could have been normal (have I mentioned pregnancy is extremely sexy?) but seemed a little different than normal. A quick investigation revealed some spotting in the fluid, which could have meant a few things. I called John to let him know I thought my water had broken, then called the doctor's office, then called my Mom. By the time the doctor's office called me back I had also lost my mucous plug, and the nurse told me to head to the hospital. I took a shower, got Eleanor breakfast, dressed and ready to go, and waited for my Mom. Who kept calling and telling me to lay down. John decided to meet me at the hospital, just in case this was the real thing. (I was still unsure, despite the mild contractions that were going on at this point.) Mom finally got to the house and off we headed to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital John was waiting by the maternity door for us. Mom took E to a nearby park to wait and see whether the hospital was going to keep me or not. At this point I hadn't eaten since around 10 pm the night before, and was starving since it was after 10 am. Mom promised me a big lunch if they sent me home. At the registration desk we were told the nurse had never called (which wasn't true) and that we were going to have to wait for a room. The receptionist was probably the only person I encountered at the hospital that wasn't wonderful, but boy, was she NOT wonderful. The nurse had called in over an hour before we arrived, but the receptionist didn't bother to actually check. We found that out later. Moving on, however, we finally got into a room. There they checked my cervix. LOTS of people checked my cervix. Repeatedly. Had I not later given birth later, I still would have been sore. They did an initial test to see if my water had actually broken, and then another more reliable test because the first test was negative but not conclusive. The second test, called a "fern" test, was positive, so the staff decided to do a short ultrasound to see how much fluid I'd lost. The ultrasound showed the baby in a breech position, and they scrambled the c-section team and called my OB back to let her know. She was there within 15 minutes, and did another ultrasound which showed that the baby had flipped again, and was head-down. We discussed options and agreed with the doctor that the best option was to augment my labor so that we had a better chance of avoiding a c-section, although nothing was set in stone. 1 out of 300 babies flips like this, and they can flip at any point, even through the last stages of early labor. Luckily, B decided to stay head down!

The nurses started the pitocin at around 2 ish(?) and I did pretty well. I lasted longer through the contraction before getting the nubane and eventual epidural. John was awesome, helping me through contractions and shutting the hell up when I needed him to. I effaced quickly, but didn't dilate much to start. I was 75% effaced but only 2 cm dilated after a few hours. I had Popsicles and ice chips, but nothing else. Labor stops your digestive system, and despite my readiness to gnaw on a chair from hunger, I remembered what happened with E during the pushing stage: I almost threw up.

By late Friday night I had started dilating in earnest. I went slowly from 2 to 3, but then shot to 5 and then 8 and then "Where's the doctor?" Just before she arrived the anesthesiologist came in to give me a little extra meds in the epidural. He was a weird one. Up until that point I'd been able to move my legs and had been doing great. When he increased the meds I lost all feeling, which made pushing difficult. The nurses ended up taking a sheet and tying knots in each end and doing a "tug of war" with me during the pushing to help me use the correct muscles. They ended up pulling muscles in my back, but by gum, I got that baby out! I could see her head in the mirror ( I got brave and looked in the mirror this time!) for about an hour, and was able to watch her come out. During one of my cervical checks the amniotic sack burst completely, and there was meconium in the fluid. When B finally emerged the staff swooped in and rubbed her clean while placing her on my chest. (John got a naughty picture of this part. We were both surprised when we saw it.) For all her antics in the womb, she's been awesome since birth. She isn't as demanding as her sister was, and cries far less. We can even lay her down! And she'll sleep!

There is so much here that I'm forgetting. Like how much she looked like her sister at birth, or how Saturday night there was an explosion in the hospital's steam room and the pipes banged all night and none of us got any sleep. There were the nurses who were great, and Loud Nurse who was really nice but insisted on giving me my going home instructions at 3 am. Loudly. Or how, on the way home I told John how great I was feeling, and how hopeful and OK, and 24 hours later was a sobbing, anxiety ridden mess. It's hard to believe it's been over two weeks, which hasn't been helped by the fact that E brought home a cold and shared it with me. But this post is already holy-shit long, so that stuff will have to wait. We're all doing a lot better, and I have been making it out of the house a lot more, which helps. We're starting to get back on a routine, which will include taking pictures and putting them up, I hope. It's still intense sleep-deprivation, so I can make no promises, but you should start seeing me around a bit more often again. Hooray for the babies!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Four and more to come


Last night B slept for four hours in a row, and I am a happy mama. It's been rough, her days and night have been flipped and I'm not certain we're out of the woods yet. Post-partum has been really rough, but the meds are adjusted and starting to kick in. E has been awesome through the whole transition, and I am extremely proud of her. I have a lot to tell you, about the birth, the aftermath, and the sleep deprived love we are in, but for now I need to pay some attention to a little girl and fold some laundry. Let's see if I can get a picture up:

I can! I really need to upload more pictures. It's on the list.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Ta Da!

Ladies and gents, we have baby! Miss B. was born Saturday at 2:09 am, 8 lbs 10 oz, 19.5 inches. She has straight brown hair, her Daddy's chin and my eyes. She also has her days and nights completely reversed, which is tough. More tomorrow...

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Holding pattern

Last night, to the irritation of both John and myself, I spent the whole night flipping over because my back kept aching off and on. During one wake-up I had a brief thought about maybe timing the backaches, in case this was back labor or whatnot. Instead I fell back to sleep, only to wake up half an hour later with a neraly-week-overdue baby riverdancing on my bladder. Maybe it was Irish Step Dancing. I'd be damn proud either way.

Today I've spent quite a bit of time cleaning and doing laundry, since I've managed do jack shit in the house the rest of the week. It's been so nice to have time with my little girl; going out and doing neat stuff and having adventures. Today, however, I needed to stay home and get some stuff done. I haven't even come close to doing everything I'd like to, mostly because the energy and bending ability aren't there. The staying home and cleaning might be nesting. Or I could just need a day to do these things. Who knows?

The experience of sitting around waiting on labor to start has left me in an unfamiliar holding pattern. I do not like waiting. There's a Monty Python episode where the cast keeps yelling something like "Get on with it already!" I've been revisiting some very minor anxiety lately about things gone and gone again, but that keep popping up in my head at random times. I think it's just misplaced anxiety, since I'm currently stuck with no control over my situation. Tomorrow I might have some control, once I talk to the doctor and find out what's going on in my body. It seriously sucks not knowing if I'm even dilated at this point. And I do very much want to yell "Get on with it already!" I would like to start moving towards a life where I am not isolated at home all the time, and where my walls are painted, and I can have items of furniture where I'd like them, not where they are less likely to be destroyed/climbed on. I'd like to get into the lack of sleep stage, so I can get back out of it and get on with school. I don't want to wish my life away, and I am trying to enjoy these last moments with just me and E as much as possible. it's hard to remember to just enjoy, however. Being in the moment can feel like being stuck in the moment sometimes. A Groundhog Day of uncertainty, unable to plan more than a day in advance and even that's sketchy, and then nothing happening.

Hopefully, I'll either go into labor sometime in the next 12 hours or get some good news tomorrow. Being home with E today has been wonderful so far, and we're just getting ready to have lunch and take a nap. I might take her to the library for a little while this afternoon, since she's been so good. Then again, I don't really want to leave the house today, despite all I said above. That's not a normal feeling for me, so let's home it's really nesting and not just tired. If we stay home I'm going to let her do something fun, like play with air dry clay or get in the pool or whatever else sounds good. And hope that we get on with things pretty soon.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Robbers

In the past two or three days E has started asking us questions about robbers. Things like "Are there any robbers in the world?" and "Where do robbers live?" I have tried to give good parent answers, but do not know the perfect way to deal with this. Tonight at dinner we discovered that her cousins introduced this idea to her. The context is hazy, but it doesn't matter. John took her all around the house and showed her our defenses, which seemed like a good idea. I don't want to lie to her, but I also don't want to scare the crap out of her, either. It's a fine line. Especially since we've also had to start dealing with the stranger issue. She makes friends with everyone, and we need her to be a little less trusting and friendly with adults. It makes me want to cry sometimes. We have a sweet, trusting and friendly little girl that we need to make less sweet, trusting and friendly. Because some people are not nice. She is too young to learn this. She needs to know it now. We're treading carefully here, because again, we don't want to traumatize her. It's a line you don't think about walking when you decide to become a parent, any more than you try to figure out how you're going to deal with the sensitive issue of pulling down pants or lifting up dresses in public. You think about big things, like religion and discipline theories and breast or bottle. *sigh*

We're still waiting for my womb to oust this child. I emailed one set of parents today who have their little girl on vacation. They mentioned seeing me next week if I hadn't had the baby. HELL NO, PEOPLE. I am too pregnant to watch your child now. I emailed back, using words like "possible induction" and "will let you know." Come on, baby. Mama doesn't want to have this conversation, and you'll like it out here! LOTS of room! For stretching! Even at 4 am!

All in all, I've been doing really well the last two days. Yesterday E and I spent the day with my Mom. Today we went to visit Daddy at work, and then I took my girl to the pool. She saw her best friend there, who happened to be wearing the same swimming suit. They had a blast. I got to see the little brother, too. I watch both kids, and it was great to have them run up and be super excited to see me. Don't get me wrong: I still want and need a new job. On the other hand, that rocked! As did a great day with my girl. She is so tired, though, that she had trouble eating dinner. Once again, robbers. Were they running through the woods? Why were there robbers? I need to remember to give my niece and nephew a very scary movie for the next major holiday. On principle.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Where baby? No. Were-baby.

I'm sitting upstairs with my laptop listening to John record an audition for a movie. It has a lot of funny lines, one about eating his own vomit and another one where he yells "Get me out! Get ME OUT!!!" Which is pretty funny to hear out of context up here. I have a cat on my shoulder/head/stomach depending on what moment we are in. I still have a Wee baby in my belly. Strangers have now started asking when I'm due and they, too, are recommending Jumping Jacks. I'm unsure how to respond to this advice. Smile nicely? Shove a shoe up their ass? Laugh maniacally and pee my pants? I don't know.

On the bright side, I had a really lovely day with my girl. We hung out in bed for a while. We had a leisurely breakfast. She wasn't sent to the corner all day, no tantrums, no drama. She did have an accident during nap time, but a little pee is no big deal. Actually, it's to be expected at this stage. Just before the baby is born and just after is difficult for siblings. Everything is uncertain, and they know things are changing. I'd rather deal with a few accidents than deal with a screaming, unreasonable kid. She's done so well, in fact, that I am taking her to the pool tomorrow! After we go visit Daddy at the office and have a picnic lunch with him. She didn't nap today, and I'm not expecting her to take one tomorrow. Wednesday we're both going to sleep well.

John has decided that tomorrow is when I'm going to have the baby. It's a full moon, and he is convinced we're going to have a were-baby. E came out covered in what we called "monkey hair" which was a soft, fine dark hair on her ears, back and arms. She still has a slightly hairy back. John thinks this one is working hard on making a bigger impression and will come out completely covered in green hair. Believe it or not, he's never been a drug user. He just seems that way, a lot.

We had a fabulous weekend, with a little girl who behaved well and LOVED fireworks. We were able to see a lot of friends at once and a new baby. John and I also figured out that this was our first time watching fireworks together, even though we've known each other for, holy shit, 18 years. I am 31. The only people I have known longer than John are family. He's down there yelling again. I hope this audition goes well. Otherwise he's going to sound like a cracked-out teenager for nothing.

On the name front, we are down to 2 main options, with a "meeting her" clause. To be honest I'm not sure about either name. So not sure, in fact, that I just erased and entire paragraph about our choices. Then again, I'm also in the completely logical state of "This baby will never come out. I'm going to be pregnant forever." Which we all know is not true. Just until next year.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Today's the due date!

A due date means nothing. NOTHING. I went in on Thursday and I am, indeed, not dilated, effaced, or within throwing distance of either. I wanted to cry by the time the OB was finished. The nurse kept saying "two more days!" like I would just spontaneously birth the baby on the due date like magic. I was nice to her, but wanted to hiss mean things at her. People keep telling me to do jumping jacks, too, which is very funny. You do not launch yourself off the ground for any reason when you are this pregnant. You just don't.

My parents took E to the big fireworks shindig last night. She told John and I that they were "big rainbows in the sky with really big BOOMS after!" I'm so glad she had fun! We're going to a friends party tonight and we're going to let her stay up and see the fireworks again. She's been alternating between very good and demon spawn since she came from her vacation, but she is steadily getting better. I'm done with daycare for at least four weeks, so I'm looking forward to spending time with my girl, and very thankful she's getting back into shape. The fireworks are a reward for working back into big girl form, and being so good for her grandparents last night. We know where my parents are going to be at all times now, just in case I go into labor. In fact, the only reason we're risking going to our friends party is because they live within five minutes of the hospital we'll be delivering at. That and the Sno-Cones. I can't WAIT to give E a Sno-Cone. She's going to be so impressed!

The nesting has died, if it ever was. I am back to just wanting to read and sleep, now that the clothes are sorted and you can walk into the nursery. In fact, I should probably run up and grab some clothes for to launder, because I should probably wear something to the party. Something cleanish. I had a dream last night that I had the baby, who was about the size of a two year old, blond and at one point nursing, at another covered in chocolate and foil like a cheap chocolate Easter Bunny. Pregnancy dreams are always bizarre.

Now I'm actually going to go get those clothes, and then try to get a girl to go take a nap. I need a nap, because I have been awake today. No other reason. Stupid tired. Only gonna get better from here!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Plodding on

Well, I keep waking up pregnant. I keep going through the day, pregnant. I keep eating, sleeping, talking, showering and doing my job, all while pregnant.

The pineapple seems to be a dismal failure.

I go back to the OB on Thursday, and I have this huge, well-founded fear that I will not be dilated, effaced or anything. People keep telling me that the baby has dropped, and that may be. but she has not dropped OUT yet, so I still feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever. E has started asking about exactly when in July the baby will be here. No clue kid. Wish I did.

In related, but less whiny subject matter, today Dooce posted about her post-partum depression. She was on meds during her pregnancy, which I have chosen not to do, and yet she still had to deal with that monster. I have an appointment with my physciatrist somewhere in the middle of July (note to self-really should call and find out when that is) to address any such issues. The current plan is to start taking meds as soon as I get over the shock of having birthed a child. As in within hours. Like Heather I have talked to my army of doctors and all agree that what I will be taking, and have taken, is safe for breastfeeding. Whew. I view my meds as a kind of armor, and I'm looking forward to strapping that shit back on. I'm also looking forward to making sure my impending child has all her fingers, toes, and is not horribly deformed. Can you tell that without my meds I'm kind of an optimist? No? Crap.

I have a healthy and very real fear of post-partum depression, and I am going to work very hard on making sure I take care of any and all problems as quickly as I can. My heart goes out to all those women who don't know what they are dealing with, are ashamed of what they are feeling, or are unable or not "allowed" for various reasons to get the help they need. (Scientology and all other religous/faith healing types: I AM LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU.) Hormones can make women crazy, and it's extrememly unpleasant to be that out of control. So I praise the doctors, researchers and other science-y types that made these drugs possible. I lurve them.

And on that note, I'm going to go organize baby clothes, because I haven't done a whole lot of that yet. John thinks I'm nesting, because I've been doing things like this for the past few days. I tried to tell him no, it's just that our refrigerator was disgusting and that laundry really should be done by both of us before I start my work week with no clothes. He's not listening. Shit. Needs. Finished. Before the baby arrives and we are lucky not to walk around all day with sore lady-bits and random spit-up/food/whatever else stuck to us. OH! That's right: he'll be the one that didn't give birth or start feeding a baby with his boobs! To be fair, he's an awesome Dad and husband who doesn't shirk his duty at all. He just doesn't seem as motivated to have everyting ready, like I do. Now if I could just get that "big burst of energy" they keep telling me about...

Monday, June 29, 2009

My little ray of sunshine

E came home today~she wasn't supposed to until tomorrow, but apparently she asked for me this morning and her Bubba decided not to push it. Fine with me; having her cuddle up to me right away made my day. She's been wonderful since she got home. She's played with her toys, told us stories and generally been a delight. She has tried a few new tricks, but that's to be expected after 6 days of constant spoil. At one point to night I picked her up and just held her, smiling like an idiot. I also got a "kiss attack" which means I got smothered in kisses. Yay!

I'm glad she took her trip when she did, so we could get the stupid hospital run of no use and the car breakdown that wasn't that bad or expensive, just hot and lengthy, out of the way. We were running errands on Saturday, one of which was the procurement of invitations for my sister's bridal shower at JoAnn's. When we got to the store John's car died, much like how it died when the alternator went. Scratch that: exactly how it died when the alternator went bad. You can imagine how happy John was. Especially since up until that point we were having a damn fine day. John called AAA, I went shopping for stuff in the store, and we ended up getting sunburnt while the AAA Dude tried to figure out what was going on. He tested the alternator and battery, but both seemed fine. He checked for loose wires, etc, but couldn't fine the problem. We ended up having the car towed just down the service road to a NTB, where they ran a diagnostic and replaced a fuse. The car died at 2ish, we were done by 7 and out less than 50 bucks. The tough part was the heat and sunburn, and the worry that we were about to buy another alternator. Those things are not cheap, and baby is a-comin, according to most experts. With me not getting paid for 6 weeks, I did not want that additional expence. So Hooray! I love fuses.

Now all I have to do is make it through tomorrow, with all 5 kids back and ready to rumble. Two are still fighting sick, one is two and terrible in his funny little way, and the girls missed each other but will be fighting before nine, I assure you. I have plans of distraction and separation, but it's going to be a challenge none the less. This is my last week, though. I can do it!

I also hedged my bets and ate some fresh pineapple tonight, which is rumored to do something about causing baby to leave the womb and meet us. I don't believe it, but hell, it can't hurt, either. Plus, I love me some fresh pineapple. And if I haven;t gone into labor by Saturday our friends are having their annual 4th of July party, and they rented a Sno-Cone machine. At least I can have Sno-Cones! And E, too, she'll be so excited. Yum!

Now it's time to teach John how to log onto this blog, so he can let you know if I pop.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Yeesh!

First and foremost, baby is still within my womb. Out! Out baby! She's not listening. Secondly, my friend that is due tomorrow? Her water broke last night. She's giving birth at home, which scares the hell out of me, but she's just fine with it. Think of Megan and wish her luck...her and her birthing pool in her kitchen. What do you do with the water after? I keep wondering. Thirdly, I have had some intense contractions today. Not regular, not continuing unless I'm up and moving about, but the ones I've had have been doozies. They've worn me out, and I might have nested a little today. After the first two really big contractions, I started cleaning. Cleaning and organizing. Eventually I had to sit down, which caused the contractions to lighten up considerably.

I have no idea if these are "practice" contractions, or if I'm just dilating, or what. Baby's bopping around, so I'm not too worried about it. I figure if I'm really in labor I'll figure it out, and head to the hospital. At least John has stopped fretting around me like an old woman. He's sweet, but for a while there I felt like a pot being watched for a boil. Every sound I made, every time I stretched my back or "oofed" when I sat down he'd whip out the stopwatch and ask if I was having a contraction. Like I said, he's a wonderful and sweet guy. Who loves me and is excited. And whom I'm very happy has removed himself from on top of my head. I'm carryong enough weight as it is.

I'm off to call my Mom and let her know about the intense contractions, so she'll have a head's up for tomorrow if I need her. Next post will either be baby or about our car breaking down yesterday. Excitement either way!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Flips and flops

Both yesterday and the day before I had contractions. By yesterday evening they were coming about every 5 minutes, and lasting about a minute. Hah, ha ha ha haaaaa. John freaked out and made us go to the hospital, even though I told him we'd just get sent home. Which we did. It appears it was a combo of barometric pressure dropping, the baby finally turning head down, and some sort of joke I'm sure I'll find hilarious once this child is out of my body. We got home after midnight, I went to sleep and the cycle begins anew.

I have had some contractions today, but according to the OB my cervix is still stubbornly shut. It should guard banks, this cervix. I'm really, really happy the baby has turned, but I'm also really really ready to get this show on the road. I'm also really ready for a new job, since one boy did not take a nap and both boys busted their lips today. Two is such a frustrating age.

In other news, E is with family out of state. I think John and I are doing fairly well with this, but I miss her so much! I can;t wait for hugs when she gets back.

And now, I smell smells that must be addressed. More when I have some!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The comedian

Yesterday was another visit to the OB. John went with me this time, which was nice because I had to sit through a non-stress test for the baby. I'd done my fetal movement counts twice yesterday, and she didn't meet the 6 movements in an hour criteria either time. So the nurses strapped two monitors on and I sat there listening to my tiny Bruce Lee for 20 minutes. It took two nurses to get the monitors on because she kept moving. At one point she started kicking the monitors. Then she got the hiccups. In the end, her numbers were excellent and both her parents and the doctor were very pleased.

There's a reason I wasn't feeling her kick, however. Kid has decided that the head-down position is for sucks. She is sideways. SIDEWAYS. It's called "transverse" and they had to do an ultrasound to confirm it. On the plus side, she's a girl for 99.99% certain! We were able to see toes, fingers, belly and a heart. She's in this wonderful little yoga pose with her legs crossed. The not so great news is that if she doesn't turn on her own I am going to have a c-section for sure, because there's no other way to get her out. (Birthing a kid sideways. Ouch.) The other thing the doc told us to be aware of is my water breaking with her in this position. The water breaking thing only happens in 10% of pregnancies before labor begins, so the chances are small. But because there's no head or butt to stem the flow there's a risk the umbilical cord could get between the baby and my cervix, cutting off blood flow and oxygen. Which is a big deal. So John, E and I have all been coaching this little one: "Head down baby!" In fact, she can even go breech on me and I'll take the c-section, as long as she is OK.

Now that we know how Wee II is doing, we're having a special family day for E. Today is her sibling class at the hospital, then we're taking her out to lunch at her choice of restaurant (the Pasta Place, otherwise known as Olive Garden.) and then buying her a couple extra pairs of shorts for her trip next week. After that we're going to take her to a paint your own pottery place, and then let her ride her bike. And have a cupcake. There might be a nap/quiet time in there, and probably some dinner. But it's going to be a big day for the soon-to-be big sister! I've been looking forward to this for ages. It was intended to be a mommy-E day, but she wanted the whole family. Even better! So I better get moving and get my shower and breakfast before John and the girl get back from grocery shopping. Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Everyone's in the aviary but meeee!!!!

John's been nesting. My Mom came over today and did almost all our laundry, so she's nesting for me, too. Me? I am too tired to nest. And itchy.

I may have mentioned this before, but I have chronic shingles. I have heard for years that "you can't get shingles more than once" which isn't true. Doctors have said so, and I have lived it. Last week I got a few chigger bites on my panty line, which is where they like to bite. Since the bites are where my panties touch, the skin has gotten irritated. I also have some irritation in my cleavage thanks to my huge boobs and the heat, so I have shingles there, too. The doc gave me an anti-viral, which I used to keep in stock around the house, but I haven't been getting itchy so often lately. I also got some creams, which are helping. But I don't want to go into labor in the next 3 to 5 days, if only so that I am not in pain while this itchy. Dammit.

Not much else is happening here. I am working on finishing the hand-stitching on my Mom's quilt. I'm sleeping as much as I can. The nursery is woefully not ready. My brain feels like it's absent. I did manage to get my oil changed yesterday, though! And I put gas in my car. Maybe I'll work on the nursery tonight...

Friday, June 12, 2009

Fort, castle, bank vault

It appears that my cervix is a steel trap. Nothing is happening, aside from my child still being in an oblique position. She's in a slightly better oblique position, but I am still at a higher risk of c-section with her there. Oh, and she has descended a bit, which means that I am peeing every 15 to 20 minutes, no joking. Let me tell you how much fun that is, especially when you pee about a tablespoonful, and stand up and immediately feel like you have to pee again.

The good news is that the baby's heartbeat was 140ish, which is awesome. Things are continuing. The office made me schedule another appointment, for July 2nd. I told the receptionist that I did not want that appointment, that the baby needed to have vacated my womb by that point, because if she had not I would be insane from all the peeing. She still made the appointment, handed me the appointment card, then I peed and drove home. I also called John on the way and told him that I hate my cervix.

Tomorrow I have a spa day, which I am really looking forward to. I'm getting a massage, pedicure and haircut. I might get it colored so that half my head isn't blond. It's the lower half where the purple has grown out and I have been to lazy to re-dye it for the last several weeks. So I'll just get it put back to one color for now. I also plan on splurging on something. I don't know what yet, but I'm looking forward to it.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Waiting for that burst of energy

Oh, the hormones and what they do to us! The crying at stupid things, like TV before we nixed it, or rain. The fantastic urges we get to eat chocolate of beat of significant others in the head with frying pans. (What?) Yep, those pesky hormones...

When I was pregnant with E I suddenly developed a strange affection for floral prints, fresh flowers and hair accessories. And lip gloss. I became a girl. I mentioned to a person in my office that this was some weird nesting, and I wondered if I'd ever be myself again.

"That's not nesting." She snorted.

For the record, this was the same woman who told me not to vacuum or eat spicy food while pregnant, and carried a wooden spoon with her for disciplining her daughter. Let's just say 1) I took everything she said with a grain of salt, and 2) WTF not nesting? If that's not nesting, what the hell is? Who says MY nesting needs to be like YOUR nesting? Eh?

It turns out that "nesting" in the normally used pregnant sense of the word means that last crazy burst of hormones right before you go into labor, causing a huge burst of energy and some interesting behaviors. Like cleaning your tile floors with a toothbrush. (I have not done this, or anything like it. Yet. At least, not while pregnant.) I was induced two days past my due date last time, so I never got the chance to experience this sensation. I think nesting is actually nature's way of alerting others to your impending labor through the observation of crazy behavior. As in "Hey look! That woman is licking shoes clean, and is very large about the middle! Perhaps we should stay close to her in case a Wee baby pops out soon?" I can think of no other reason for this phenomena. It would make more sense if your urge was cook food and freeze it, or start doing kegels like it was a high paying job. But no, things like vacuuming lampshades happens.

The closest to nesting that I've come has been over the past few days. I've been making lists of all the shit I am too tired to do at the end of the day, but that still needs done. John's back is feeling much better, do he's going to get a list, probably tomorrow. I'll put it on my list-make John a list of crap to do. I did manage to get the bassinet put back together after its cleaning, and get it up to our room. And some laundry. So much to do!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Baby boot camp and the back issue

Saturday we attended out one day labor and delivery class, or "baby boot camp" as John likes to call it. E spent a day with our friends Rich and Jen, who wore her out. Completely. She had a blast! We didn't exactly have a blast, but we did get an excellent refresher course on how to tell if I'm in labor, what my innards look like right now, how to breathe during labor and contractions, and all the other good stuff. *By the way, hospital pads are the size of a baby blanket folded in half. I'd forgotten that pleasant little detail. That and the gauze undies you wear right after birth. Fun!*

It was really nice to giggle through a class with John. I'm not looking forward to labor or the chance I might need a C-section, but I am looking forward to meeting this little one!

E and I went to a baby shower for a friend on Sunday. I called when we were heading home, and found out John was laying on the couch alternating heat and ice. Which was bad news, considering he's NEVER done that before. He needs to be at death's door to go to the doctor, and I can count the number of times he's stayed home from work sick over the past ten years on one hand. He stayed home yesterday and I took him to the urgent care since our doctor's office was full. The good news is that it's probably a pinched nerve, but they didn't rule out a bulging/slipped/whatever disk. The X-rays looked OK, but the doctor said that didn't mean anything. He also actively ignored me the entire time we were there, actually walking out of the room when I was speaking to him. Dick. Anyway, he "manipulated" my husband, which looked remarkably like humping him in the face. With sounds effects. And he gave him drugs. Between the two john went to work today and seems to be doing better. I have just over 3 weeks left until my due date, so I'm very happy about that!

Friday, June 5, 2009

The good stuff (people never tell you about being pregnant)

The OB swabbed me today for Strep B, which is something we all have, but preggos need to be on antibiotics for it during labor if they have too much. I got measured, my pee tested, the heartbeat monitored, my weight recorded and my cervix checked. They do that by hand, by the way.

The results were all good! I've stopped gaining weight despite my best efforts, my pee was great, as was my blood pressure, the baby's heartbeat and my measurements. The baby is oblique right now, which means diagonal. No big deal unless she decides to stay that way. It does explain why I've been seeing feet just under my right boob, though. My cervix is shut tight, which is fine for two more weeks, then that better start changing. (You hear me down there? We WILL NOT BE LATE.) The lack of weight gain is actually a good sign, because it means I'm starting to maybe get ready.

There's a few things I've neglected to say about being pregnant, because this hasn't been the easy pregnancy I had last time. You should hear about these things, however, because they still fall under things people never tell you. Ahem:

Feeling the baby move and kick is the most wonderful thing in the word, even when you think it's going to make you pee your pants. The same goes with seeing that squirmy little thing on the ultrasound. There is such a wonderful sense of awe that comes with knowing that the tiny thing inside you wasn't there before, and will someday bean independent entity that will love you, and make you laugh and cry harder than you ever have before. Seeing that tiny thing once it comes out is beyond words. Nothing will ever be the same. It's hard to be a parent and give up free nights and lazy mornings and most of your freedom in general. It's not always fun to be at the beck and call of a tiny insane person who needs less sleep than you do, and doesn't want to just sit and read. But it's worth it. When they make you laugh, look at you and smile, learn something new and teach you about the world in a while new way. You'll never be so tired, or so happy.

Three days of insight

Since Wednesday I have had two less kids in my care. They are on vacation until Tuesday with their Grandma. On Thursdays and Fridays I don't have the nearly one year old, so yesterday and today I have only had three kids to deal with: a nearly two year old, a 2.5 year old and E. This has been so much easier, even if the nearly 2 year old can be a real throwing/running/not listening pain in the ass sometimes. I've also been going to bed really early most of this week. The night before last I went to lay down when E did, which means that by 8:30 I was happily in bed. I was asleep just after 9. This has helped a lot. Every day this week I have been wiped out and incoherent by 5 pm, which makes the end of my days difficult. I can barely talk to John, let alone the the parents who come to pick up their kids. I am not hungry, I just want to lay down. And, I am a huge ball of anxiety, because being tired makes that happen. Still looking forward to that Lexapro!

Last night was an exception, however. I wasn't as tired after only 3 kids, could hold a conversation, and I stayed up a bit later so that I could finish a dress for E's new doll. She loves the doll, she loves the dress, and that makes me a very, very happy Mommy. Someday I might actually post pictures, and it will be a huge mess of everything I've made for the last 6 months.

I'm going to go see the OB today, to find out if anything is brewing as far as impending abby is concerned. John's working half a day to cover for me, then taking a final. I think tonight we may both collapse on the couch and drool. Tomorrow is our all-day birthing class, which is an endurance test. It's a lot of info, a long time, and a lot of tired, pregnant women. It's also interesting, vital information and the class ends up being a lot of fun.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

A better place

I keep reading blogs by moms who are so full of peace and calm and positive wonderfulness. In truth, that was me until I took on caring for 6 kids 10 hours a day 5 days a week. Getting back to the talk of "rhythms of life" and "peaceful times" and the like is a goal of mine. I envy those happy people. It's not that I'm not happy, my life on a daily basis just tends more towards chaos. It's getting a bit better, though. This weeks (on day 2) hasn't been as bad as last week was. I had a friend over today to help, and she listened and helped and laughed and helped me with E's doll again. After I finish here I'm going to go sew the doll's hair on. Then latch more into the hair cap part, and laugh myself silly thinking I'd get a dress for the doll finished tonight.

I took a good step yesterday: I emailed a local food shelter kind of place and inquired about volunteering starting this fall. I may need to take a job that's not ideal to start, like something in an office. Something that will pay the bills and have the kind of hours I need. But with volunteering with this organization, I'll still be doing something good and helpful. I need to do that. I need to give back in a positive way to the world as a whole. This work would directly impact people here that need help. I feel good about that. Very good.

Ah, crap. John's home and will need the computer for school. I should get to that hair and bed anyway. I hope your day is a good one!

hee hee

So it appears the sage rub worked! We'll see how the day goes, but so far so good. I'm really trying to lighten up, the kids are still teething and who they are, but maybe my attitude changing will help diffuse some of the crap.

The girls want to make their own comic books today, which makes me very happy. I think we might go outside first and run around in the grass; we had a huge storm last night and I think it's always so nice the next morning.

Really, that's all I have for now.

Monday, June 1, 2009

I just want to help people...

I'm tired, but no kids are here so that puts me in a better mood than I would've been. Three teething today, ugh. I've been puttering about the internet trying to find jobs, even though realistically I can't apply for anything for about two months. I happened upon PETCO's site today, and was happy with what I read. Then I thought I might apply for a job, until John pointed out some things not on their website. Things that I would not and could not deal with, like what happens when a puppy isn't adopted. Or where those puppies come from. Etc.

I just want a job where I can help people. It should pay a living wage, I should be able to not get screamed at all day, and a bonus would be a positive impact on the world as a whole. This job seems tough to find, but I will begin looking in earnest as soon as I can. As much as I'd love to be with my kids full time, I don't want to be with other kids full time, too. Four I could do. Six is too many. But with four, two of them will be mine, and that won't pay the bills.

So! I'm going to go do a sage rub to clear the air, work on E's doll and go to bed. There might be a shower in there somewhere. Just under 5 weeks to go, or just over 4.5, depending on your point of view. And assuming I don't go late. PLEASE don't let me go late: I found myself today hoping that I go into labor early so I can get a break. THERE IS SO MUCH WRONG WITH THAT. A newborn is not a break. Not by a long shot. Which is why I think the job hunt will begin in earnest...and that getting back on my meds can't happen soon enough. Perhaps my blog will go back to crafty then! And far less bitching. I'd like that!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Where does the time go?

Sorry for the sporadic posting lately, I'm not sure where my head is lately. This week has been hell on wheels for both John and I, and by the time the kids are gone and E is in bed I'm ready to pass out. Which is basically what happened last night, except I kept myself awake long enough to hang up the shirts and pants from the dryer first.

I'm at 35 weeks this week, which means I've got 5, give or take, to go. A few nights ago while we were rearranging E's room with her new (my sister's old) soon-to-be-bunked beds I had a series of Braxton=Hicks contractions. (They're "practice" contractions) There were enough that I got worried, but not so many that I called the doctor. We are really, really not ready for the baby at this point, as far as physical preparations are concerned. I have nothing ready to go to the hospital, the baby's room is still full of E's outgrown clothes, and on and on. I am simultaneously ready for this wee to be out and not at all ready for her to make an appearance. In all likely hood the baby won't be coming until around her due date or later, if my family's history is any indication. It's the fact that we're so damn unprepared and I'm too tired to do much about it. HOW do women with many children do this? Perhaps the older children help? Maybe it's because John is in school and so busy, and I don't want to bug him with things like sorting and washing baby clothes while he's trying to get ready for finals.

Well, the upside is that I might be able to get a bunch done this weekend. E is having her best buddy over to stay the night, and while they are playing and having fun I might be able to sit on my ass and sort shit out. I hope to have a list of things we need so we can grab those supplies, and maybe, just maybe, get things moved around enough so that when the baby comes home we have a place to put her.

As far as goings on, I've started biting the insides of my cheeks when I chew. I have no idea why, but it sucks! The baby's not flipping about so much, but she's definitely still active. Lots of feet and stretching. She's had the hiccups a few times, and I can feel her rear end up by my boobs most of the time. I'm a hormonal raging mess, crying at everything and ready to nap at any moment. In the last week I've gotten really uncomfortable. Sleeping is the same as it has been, but sitting and getting up and down has become very challenging. Bending over is challenging, to say the least. I don't like being grumpy, which seems to be a default setting once I get tired. I have managed to get some stuff done, though. Like E's doll-thanks to a friend that came over to help with the daycare and helped me make the doll during naptime. Today I'm going to put the hair on and hopefully get the eyes and mouth on.

Man, I didn't want this to be a cranky post, but it's been punctuated with fighting by all the kids. I am so tired of constant fighting. It was supposed to be sunny and hot today, but it's gray and rainy and cool, so our pool party (which would end the fighting and let us all have a great time) is canned for the moment. Come on, sun! We need out!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

No brain left

No wonder the next 6 weeks seemed so hectic: I completely left out the last weekend in May. We'll be having a sleep-over that weekend with E's best buddy/sparring partner. I thought that things were moving awfully fast!

This morning has been better, but both boys are being assholes, so we're going to have to nip that in the bud before any real fun starts. It's just the age (go read Sundry!) and all, but it sucks. They are so cute and such jerks at this age.

The garden is ready to be planted thanks to the kids and myself, so we're starting out Aerogarden seedling tray today and going to the nursery this weekend. I bought sand for the new sandbox last night and got it filled thanks to John. Hopefully that will distract the kids from the garden, which they have been digging in for the last month but is now off limits due to small plants that shouldn't be stepped on.

I went to the library Monday and checked out a few books on botany. One of the books was a kid's book. It looks the most interesting of the bunch. I need to get working on my scholarship applications and other various applications, which I am oddly un-motivated to work on. However, until I can get back to school a little self education won't hurt.

Now, to get myself some ice water (I have hit the stage in pregnancy where I am thirsty ALL THE TIME) and start seeding this tray with the under 5 crowd. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

WTF, Wednesday?

Every morning this week has been a little bit of hell, followed by a pretty good day. Today has been a little bit of hell followed by more hell, with some nice on top to flavor the still coming hell. No one has gotten hurt, so that's a bonus, but E went to bed a little late last night and has been cranky, whiny and demanding. Her little friend has been pushing her buttons because she thinks it's fun, and has been also not listening to me very well, then throwing tantrums when she's put in time out. The 8 month old is teething, and is loud. The two boys are themselves, enough said. To top it off my laptop has decided to stop opening windows for Firefox, so I can't use it for the one thing I need it for every morning: to see if the world still exists.

Actually, listing that out made me feel a lot better. Really, the issue is that I'm tired and getting more tired all the time. I have a lot to do, and no energy to do it by the time I have time to start working on anything. I don't know if John gets any time off between this quarter and next. He usually gets a week. I hope like hell he does, because I'm going to need his help getting everything done.

This weekend my Mom is taking E for an unusually long visit. She'll pick up the kid around 7:30 Saturday morning and we'll get her back sometime Sunday. As much as that sounds like an invitation to sleep all day to me, instead we're going to get some plants from the nursery (blueberry bushes! Cilantro! a tomato plant!) and get them planted, then I'll start working on the baby's room while John mows our eerily healthy grass. Usually our lawn is a laughingstock, but this year it's growing like crazy. After that we might go see a matinee, then back to the grind with finishing the baby's room, after picking up anything we need on the way from the movie home. Then back out to dinner, and maybe some light shopping. Will we get this done in a day? Who knows. I think the plan might alter so that we are not leaving the house three times. but who knows? What I do know is this: my ass is going to stay in bed as long as possible Sunday morning. I don't care if I'm awake, I am going to be stationary and lazy.

The next 6 weeks are shaping up to be very busy. This weekend was spelled out above, next weekend is our day-long birthing class. (Holy shit, June already?!) The following weekend is a community garage sale and hopefully an E and Mommy day, the next weekend is E's sibling class and John's sister from Colorado and his Mom come into town, and that's the week she goes to stay with her Bubba(grandma) and Aunt. A trip that culminates in a day at Idlewild, which is an amusement park for kids. I'll detail the issues with this trip later, but they involve food (vegan? I'm not holding my breath) sleep (her sleep schedule is about to be fucked, yo!) behavior (guess who back, has a new sister and is acting like a tyrant!) and my general anxiety about not having my kid for a week. Just before I give birth. On the other hand, it will give me a chance to do whatever it is I need to do befoer the baby. I have no idea what that is, but I guess I'll be able to do it.

Somewhere in there I'll probably be giving birth, unless our little judo champ comes when she's due (the following weekend) or after. It sounds like a whirlwind, and feels like one, too. Which may be why I'm sitting here eating left-over birthday cake icing. Or, that could be because of this morning. Either way, my ass is expanding. I'm going to go lay down.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Remeber that time I was 8 months pregnant?

So the last couple of days have been pretty interesting. Wednesday night I went to check out sewing machines at The Stitching Post. They're going out of business and everything is supposed to be 1/2 off. Long story short, they didn't have exactly what I wanted, but I was debating a few machines anyway. The guy says"lets run your credit and see what they say," which sounded fine. I wanted to know how much I was approved for anyway. He cheerily tells me I've been approved and then comes back with a $450 sewing machine. I accidentally bought a sewing machine. Which I immediately returned. He then said I was "bizarre" and "flighty." I'm not sure if I just missed something during the transaction or what, but I can't help feeling like maybe I zoned out at a crucial point of the conversation because the baby picked the period I was in the store to start practicing judo in the womb.

Then last night Goldie (the kittenish cat) grabbed a roach trap we put in the basement because a week ago I saw what I thought was a roach at the cat food and was grossed out. After she dropped the trap in water and then punctured the bottom of the bait trap she ran through the house with John and I chasing her. Once I caught her and got the trap away I called the animal medical emergency number on the back, and while on the phone managed to trip on the black bouncy ball all the way across the family room and land on the rocking horse. While on the phone. During the one minute John was in the bathroom. He didn't hear a thing until he came out and and found me bawling on the floor. He thought the cat had dropped dead. It turns out the poison in the traps we used is the same stuff they use in frontline, and Goldie would have to eat several traps to even feel ill. Meanwhile I skinned both my knees and my ankle was on ice, my hormones kicked in and I couldn't stop crying for almost 10 minutes. At least I didn't fall on my stomach or wake up E. This morning I found several new places where I am bruised and battered.

And now I present this morning: the lady in the hospital who is at least one, probably 2 weeks less pregnant than I am? She gave birth at some point between last night and early this morning. Which puts the baby at least 6 weeks premature. I guess everyone's doing fine, but man. It's been a rough week for those folks. I hope everything stays just fine for them, because having a baby that early is terrifying.

I've had help here the past two mornings, which has been awesome. I'd really love to have someone with me here all the time, but alas. I'll take what I can get, and right now the getting is good.

Tonight we're going to go out and get a girl some flip flops, some containers so she can make her own breakfast (cereal) in the morning, and a grill for our grill. TGIF.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Tonight

Tonight I am going to our local sewing machine depot to look at their machines. I posted awhile ago about how I was Going! To get! A new machine! But later decided that 1) I suck at saving money when there are birthdays and holidays and fabric! and 2) that my current machine is working just fine, thank you, so why mess with a good thing?

Well, the store is going out of business, and everything is at least half off. John told me to go look and see if there was the deal of a lifetime, and then we can work out a payment plan for ourselves. Which means that instead of me saving money, I just won't get allowance for a while, but I'll have a new machine. In theory. If there's anything good and affordable. We'll see. But I'm excited to look, and I'm excited to get out of the house. FREEDOM!

In completely unrelated news (do I ever transition to something related?) one of the kids here is having a rough time. Her mom is almost as far along in her pregnancy as I am, and has been diabetic since she was a teenager. She's in the hospital for the second time this pregnancy with some serious blood sugar level issues. The baby seems to be doing just fine, but it's been hard on the whole family and the poor mom feels horrible. She can't keep any food down! Her levels are getting better, but if you could send some good thoughts out to the midwest, I'd appreciate it.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

From the couch!

I am writing to you from my couch. Because one of my presents for the combined day of goodness was my Mom's old laptop, which is a better laptop used than I could afford new. (Have I mentioned how much taxes sucked this year? Let's just say the next time I spend nearly 10 K on something, it better come with a pool boy. Or be self cleaning. Or let me fly.) Moving on past my irritation with self employment, this laptop with a battery and also works thing is awesome. I've been able to work on my sister's wedding stuff while the kids are around, I can check my email, and now I have bookmarked my blog so that I can find it and update. Brilliant!

Mom's Day and B-day were awesome. I have a massage and hydro-therapy tub coming in the near future, some roses that turn into bubble bath and the new Dylan album. Which is actually good. John did a great job. I need to write a post soon about comics/graphic. One of my presents was Stephen King's newest venture with Marvel: The Dark Tower stuff. I also need to look at the comic itself to see what it is actually called. It was good, name aside. But more on that later.

Otherwise, things are going. 7 weeks 4 days until I'm due. John made the Dean's list for school last quarter, my daughter was the sweetest girl in the world over the weekend. I have certain friends I really wish would call me back, and my sister's wedding is creeping slowly closer. We're doing invitations this weekend. My left boob itches on the biopsy scar like nobody's business.

And on that note, I'm going to start up the afternoon. We have a documentary made by the BBC just for kids. It's on Chimpanzees. Then, we go outside!

Friday, May 8, 2009

And then a miracle occurred.

SO....
Do you want to know how much weight I added to my pregnant ass after 4 (FOUR) packages of Oreos in two weeks? Do you? DO YOU?

One friggin pound.

I have no idea how that happened, maybe it was the constant movement what with chasing the childrens around. Never mind that in any other circumstance I would have gained 10 pounds from eating just one of those packages. I am not questioning this miracle. I am loving it and giving it liquor and BJs until it decides to live with me forever. I am dry humping this miracle because ONE POUND. !!!

My OB was not pleased with my diet, but was happy with the entire inspection. I had no bad stuff in my pee, my blood pressure is still insanely good (98/60. WTF?) and I am measuring where I should be: 32 cm at 32 weeks. Sweet! Plus the baby's heartbeat was a perfect 144. So perhaps my oreo diet is working, oh skeptical doctor person...

Before I went to the OB's I applied for an Administrative Assistant position at a local school. This is the first job I have ever applied for that I knew I wasn't going to get. There were at least 10 people in the room, all ladies, perfectly coifed and dressed and knowing their typing speed and crap. I looked at the sign-in sheet, and there were at least 50 people signed in for the job. I am not at all qualified for this position to begin with, and the secretary who was taking the apps let me know that. Bite me lady, it was good practice.

After talking with a few of the vastly more qualified candidates who had been job hunting for months, and taking a look at the paper my Mom left here with stories of people who had been looking for jobs for years, I am now very sad about the prospect of changing careers. At the moment. Because there are a lot of people who need positions more than I do, and I actually make a pretty good living. I'm still going to try, but I also am going to try to take the long view and wait for something good. My real goal is to go back to school and get a degree/job in horticulture, and to get the fuck out of day care. However, I got kisses today from the little ones for no reason, and that makes up for a lot. This is a stable, well paying job that just happens to be very difficult. I may look for help for the winter, so that I do not end up on my own for weeks at a time stuck in a house with 6 children. That's going to take some figuring out.

In the mean time, I am going to pursue some options to make cash on the side so that I might be able to reduce the number of kids, or something. SOMETHING! I have no idea. Corset making, sewing classes, teaching henna, I guess I could actually do something with the Etsy store, who knows? The future's fuzzy, what with the new baby and associated sleep deprivation on the horizon. We'll just have to see.

Lastly, John did an awesome thing today. My birthday falls on Mother's day this year, so my Mom is taking E tomorrow night. John got us tickets to an honest to god in a theater movie (Star Trek) and reservations at a fancy pants fondue restaurant. I am even going to wear a dress. Maybe high heels. Well, high for me. I am a bare foot kinda girl.

So happy weekend, happy Mother's Day, and hooray for a date!