Wednesday, April 29, 2009

30.5 weeks, redeux

I meant to talk about the pregnancy in my last post, but was too wiped out. I was too wiped out to talk about the pregnancy because the pregnancy is now officially keeping me from getting enough sleep.

Things no one tells you about being pregnant # 75897:

Once you hit the last trimester you can forget about sleeping through the night. You get up to pee at least once but more likely 2 to 3 times. You have to roll over about every hour, which involves much grunting and huffing and usually a grumbly sleeping partner, and you must roll because your hips, knees and back ache from being in the same position for more than 40 minutes. This is made all the harder because you are most likely sleeping in a pillow fort of some kind. Since you are officially NOT TO LAY ON YOUR BACK! !! !!!! after the fifth month, you must construct some sort of soft, pillowy structure to stop you from rolling onto your back in your sleep. Plus, dude, you are going to need something between your knees to help your poor back, and under your belly, and hips. All the ligaments and tendons are full of relaxin bby now, which is a chemical that loosens your joints and tendons and the like. So that you can pass that watermelon out that lemon hole. You are welcome for that image, it came from Carol Burnett, I believe. Anywhoo, as welcome as this chemical is, it makes the rest of your body ache in the night. If you are in your thirs trimester and someone tells you to catch up on your sleep now becuase you'll need it when the baby comes (like you can store rest, asshole) you are entitled to punch them in the face. While screaming obscenities. Trust me! Any judge and jury would let you slide. Especially of they are female and have children.

The baby is still trucking away in there. Tomorrow marks 31 weeks, which is a home stretch if I've ever heard of one. Saying I have nine weeks left makes it sound so close! Saying I have until July makes it sound so far away. I'm not sure which is better.

I spent close to two hours last night looking for jobs on a site I found. There was nothing I wanted to do, was qualified for or that paid enough. I found one library job, but it was part time and evenings. DAMN. But I have a while (nine weeks, or JULY) before I can really get serious. I am looking, however, because all the kids have colds, and three out of six are teething. My day is a very loud day. And cranky. But so far things are still going well, and the crazy is holding off. Soon I'll have a new baby, and a very proud big girl, and a newly enchanted husband and parents. I may not get much sleep, but I'm pretty damn happy about that today. Oh, and have I mentioned there are a lot of mood swings in pregnancy?


HollyLynne said...

What actually happens to you if you end up on your back? NOBODY HAS TOLD ME THIS YET!

Domesticrazy said...

It squashes a vein or artery or something. It's bad for both the Mama and the baby. I'm not sure where the blood doesn't go to, but it's a bad thing. (My brain will not remember the details of this particular danger for some reason.) My OB was very stern with me about my rolling onto my back whilst slumbering, and was very insistent that I stop.

I miss stretching out my back!