Monday, April 13, 2009


This weekend was so so good, and so very bad. We had a great time, E slept in! And Easter activities were nice. We managed to get the rooms switched around to my satisfaction, laundry done and some nice relaxing in. I also spent this weekend gripped by anxiety. It never bloomed into a full blown attack, but it was far from comfortable or pleasant.

I'm hoping for a really good afternoon so that I can be sane tonight...


It's nap time, but neither of the two older girls were sleeping. I let them get up, play with their favorite modeling clay toy, and am giving them Easter candy. I feel great about this! Sometimes you just need to spoil kids a bit.

I also ordered the white noise machine the BT for the kids recommended. It'll save us money because then I won't have the vacuum on for hours at a time. Because I just had to dish out over $5000 in taxes, I used my allowance. I figure it's worth it; my quality of life should greatly improve while our electricity bill decreases.

I'm going to do everything I can after everyone else wakes up to make this afternoon fun. Well, this afternoon and every day from now on. It's not that I didn't before, but I've been to focused on how hard this job is, instead of focusing on how much fun it can be. Thus ramping my anxiety up to new heights, because I'm so worried about what the next day will bring. Changing the focus of my day will hopefully help.

Tonight I'm going to a friend's house to learn about making corsets. I'm hoping this will end up being a side income that is significant, because I need something else. This living/working/children thing is work, wonderful, difficult and maddening. I am blessed and trapped at the same time, and am going to, again, focus on the good parts. And wait for medication. Sigh.

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