Friday, May 29, 2009

Where does the time go?

Sorry for the sporadic posting lately, I'm not sure where my head is lately. This week has been hell on wheels for both John and I, and by the time the kids are gone and E is in bed I'm ready to pass out. Which is basically what happened last night, except I kept myself awake long enough to hang up the shirts and pants from the dryer first.

I'm at 35 weeks this week, which means I've got 5, give or take, to go. A few nights ago while we were rearranging E's room with her new (my sister's old) soon-to-be-bunked beds I had a series of Braxton=Hicks contractions. (They're "practice" contractions) There were enough that I got worried, but not so many that I called the doctor. We are really, really not ready for the baby at this point, as far as physical preparations are concerned. I have nothing ready to go to the hospital, the baby's room is still full of E's outgrown clothes, and on and on. I am simultaneously ready for this wee to be out and not at all ready for her to make an appearance. In all likely hood the baby won't be coming until around her due date or later, if my family's history is any indication. It's the fact that we're so damn unprepared and I'm too tired to do much about it. HOW do women with many children do this? Perhaps the older children help? Maybe it's because John is in school and so busy, and I don't want to bug him with things like sorting and washing baby clothes while he's trying to get ready for finals.

Well, the upside is that I might be able to get a bunch done this weekend. E is having her best buddy over to stay the night, and while they are playing and having fun I might be able to sit on my ass and sort shit out. I hope to have a list of things we need so we can grab those supplies, and maybe, just maybe, get things moved around enough so that when the baby comes home we have a place to put her.

As far as goings on, I've started biting the insides of my cheeks when I chew. I have no idea why, but it sucks! The baby's not flipping about so much, but she's definitely still active. Lots of feet and stretching. She's had the hiccups a few times, and I can feel her rear end up by my boobs most of the time. I'm a hormonal raging mess, crying at everything and ready to nap at any moment. In the last week I've gotten really uncomfortable. Sleeping is the same as it has been, but sitting and getting up and down has become very challenging. Bending over is challenging, to say the least. I don't like being grumpy, which seems to be a default setting once I get tired. I have managed to get some stuff done, though. Like E's doll-thanks to a friend that came over to help with the daycare and helped me make the doll during naptime. Today I'm going to put the hair on and hopefully get the eyes and mouth on.

Man, I didn't want this to be a cranky post, but it's been punctuated with fighting by all the kids. I am so tired of constant fighting. It was supposed to be sunny and hot today, but it's gray and rainy and cool, so our pool party (which would end the fighting and let us all have a great time) is canned for the moment. Come on, sun! We need out!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

No brain left

No wonder the next 6 weeks seemed so hectic: I completely left out the last weekend in May. We'll be having a sleep-over that weekend with E's best buddy/sparring partner. I thought that things were moving awfully fast!

This morning has been better, but both boys are being assholes, so we're going to have to nip that in the bud before any real fun starts. It's just the age (go read Sundry!) and all, but it sucks. They are so cute and such jerks at this age.

The garden is ready to be planted thanks to the kids and myself, so we're starting out Aerogarden seedling tray today and going to the nursery this weekend. I bought sand for the new sandbox last night and got it filled thanks to John. Hopefully that will distract the kids from the garden, which they have been digging in for the last month but is now off limits due to small plants that shouldn't be stepped on.

I went to the library Monday and checked out a few books on botany. One of the books was a kid's book. It looks the most interesting of the bunch. I need to get working on my scholarship applications and other various applications, which I am oddly un-motivated to work on. However, until I can get back to school a little self education won't hurt.

Now, to get myself some ice water (I have hit the stage in pregnancy where I am thirsty ALL THE TIME) and start seeding this tray with the under 5 crowd. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

WTF, Wednesday?

Every morning this week has been a little bit of hell, followed by a pretty good day. Today has been a little bit of hell followed by more hell, with some nice on top to flavor the still coming hell. No one has gotten hurt, so that's a bonus, but E went to bed a little late last night and has been cranky, whiny and demanding. Her little friend has been pushing her buttons because she thinks it's fun, and has been also not listening to me very well, then throwing tantrums when she's put in time out. The 8 month old is teething, and is loud. The two boys are themselves, enough said. To top it off my laptop has decided to stop opening windows for Firefox, so I can't use it for the one thing I need it for every morning: to see if the world still exists.

Actually, listing that out made me feel a lot better. Really, the issue is that I'm tired and getting more tired all the time. I have a lot to do, and no energy to do it by the time I have time to start working on anything. I don't know if John gets any time off between this quarter and next. He usually gets a week. I hope like hell he does, because I'm going to need his help getting everything done.

This weekend my Mom is taking E for an unusually long visit. She'll pick up the kid around 7:30 Saturday morning and we'll get her back sometime Sunday. As much as that sounds like an invitation to sleep all day to me, instead we're going to get some plants from the nursery (blueberry bushes! Cilantro! a tomato plant!) and get them planted, then I'll start working on the baby's room while John mows our eerily healthy grass. Usually our lawn is a laughingstock, but this year it's growing like crazy. After that we might go see a matinee, then back to the grind with finishing the baby's room, after picking up anything we need on the way from the movie home. Then back out to dinner, and maybe some light shopping. Will we get this done in a day? Who knows. I think the plan might alter so that we are not leaving the house three times. but who knows? What I do know is this: my ass is going to stay in bed as long as possible Sunday morning. I don't care if I'm awake, I am going to be stationary and lazy.

The next 6 weeks are shaping up to be very busy. This weekend was spelled out above, next weekend is our day-long birthing class. (Holy shit, June already?!) The following weekend is a community garage sale and hopefully an E and Mommy day, the next weekend is E's sibling class and John's sister from Colorado and his Mom come into town, and that's the week she goes to stay with her Bubba(grandma) and Aunt. A trip that culminates in a day at Idlewild, which is an amusement park for kids. I'll detail the issues with this trip later, but they involve food (vegan? I'm not holding my breath) sleep (her sleep schedule is about to be fucked, yo!) behavior (guess who back, has a new sister and is acting like a tyrant!) and my general anxiety about not having my kid for a week. Just before I give birth. On the other hand, it will give me a chance to do whatever it is I need to do befoer the baby. I have no idea what that is, but I guess I'll be able to do it.

Somewhere in there I'll probably be giving birth, unless our little judo champ comes when she's due (the following weekend) or after. It sounds like a whirlwind, and feels like one, too. Which may be why I'm sitting here eating left-over birthday cake icing. Or, that could be because of this morning. Either way, my ass is expanding. I'm going to go lay down.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Remeber that time I was 8 months pregnant?

So the last couple of days have been pretty interesting. Wednesday night I went to check out sewing machines at The Stitching Post. They're going out of business and everything is supposed to be 1/2 off. Long story short, they didn't have exactly what I wanted, but I was debating a few machines anyway. The guy says"lets run your credit and see what they say," which sounded fine. I wanted to know how much I was approved for anyway. He cheerily tells me I've been approved and then comes back with a $450 sewing machine. I accidentally bought a sewing machine. Which I immediately returned. He then said I was "bizarre" and "flighty." I'm not sure if I just missed something during the transaction or what, but I can't help feeling like maybe I zoned out at a crucial point of the conversation because the baby picked the period I was in the store to start practicing judo in the womb.

Then last night Goldie (the kittenish cat) grabbed a roach trap we put in the basement because a week ago I saw what I thought was a roach at the cat food and was grossed out. After she dropped the trap in water and then punctured the bottom of the bait trap she ran through the house with John and I chasing her. Once I caught her and got the trap away I called the animal medical emergency number on the back, and while on the phone managed to trip on the black bouncy ball all the way across the family room and land on the rocking horse. While on the phone. During the one minute John was in the bathroom. He didn't hear a thing until he came out and and found me bawling on the floor. He thought the cat had dropped dead. It turns out the poison in the traps we used is the same stuff they use in frontline, and Goldie would have to eat several traps to even feel ill. Meanwhile I skinned both my knees and my ankle was on ice, my hormones kicked in and I couldn't stop crying for almost 10 minutes. At least I didn't fall on my stomach or wake up E. This morning I found several new places where I am bruised and battered.

And now I present this morning: the lady in the hospital who is at least one, probably 2 weeks less pregnant than I am? She gave birth at some point between last night and early this morning. Which puts the baby at least 6 weeks premature. I guess everyone's doing fine, but man. It's been a rough week for those folks. I hope everything stays just fine for them, because having a baby that early is terrifying.

I've had help here the past two mornings, which has been awesome. I'd really love to have someone with me here all the time, but alas. I'll take what I can get, and right now the getting is good.

Tonight we're going to go out and get a girl some flip flops, some containers so she can make her own breakfast (cereal) in the morning, and a grill for our grill. TGIF.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Tonight

Tonight I am going to our local sewing machine depot to look at their machines. I posted awhile ago about how I was Going! To get! A new machine! But later decided that 1) I suck at saving money when there are birthdays and holidays and fabric! and 2) that my current machine is working just fine, thank you, so why mess with a good thing?

Well, the store is going out of business, and everything is at least half off. John told me to go look and see if there was the deal of a lifetime, and then we can work out a payment plan for ourselves. Which means that instead of me saving money, I just won't get allowance for a while, but I'll have a new machine. In theory. If there's anything good and affordable. We'll see. But I'm excited to look, and I'm excited to get out of the house. FREEDOM!

In completely unrelated news (do I ever transition to something related?) one of the kids here is having a rough time. Her mom is almost as far along in her pregnancy as I am, and has been diabetic since she was a teenager. She's in the hospital for the second time this pregnancy with some serious blood sugar level issues. The baby seems to be doing just fine, but it's been hard on the whole family and the poor mom feels horrible. She can't keep any food down! Her levels are getting better, but if you could send some good thoughts out to the midwest, I'd appreciate it.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

From the couch!

I am writing to you from my couch. Because one of my presents for the combined day of goodness was my Mom's old laptop, which is a better laptop used than I could afford new. (Have I mentioned how much taxes sucked this year? Let's just say the next time I spend nearly 10 K on something, it better come with a pool boy. Or be self cleaning. Or let me fly.) Moving on past my irritation with self employment, this laptop with a battery and also works thing is awesome. I've been able to work on my sister's wedding stuff while the kids are around, I can check my email, and now I have bookmarked my blog so that I can find it and update. Brilliant!

Mom's Day and B-day were awesome. I have a massage and hydro-therapy tub coming in the near future, some roses that turn into bubble bath and the new Dylan album. Which is actually good. John did a great job. I need to write a post soon about comics/graphic. One of my presents was Stephen King's newest venture with Marvel: The Dark Tower stuff. I also need to look at the comic itself to see what it is actually called. It was good, name aside. But more on that later.

Otherwise, things are going. 7 weeks 4 days until I'm due. John made the Dean's list for school last quarter, my daughter was the sweetest girl in the world over the weekend. I have certain friends I really wish would call me back, and my sister's wedding is creeping slowly closer. We're doing invitations this weekend. My left boob itches on the biopsy scar like nobody's business.

And on that note, I'm going to start up the afternoon. We have a documentary made by the BBC just for kids. It's on Chimpanzees. Then, we go outside!

Friday, May 8, 2009

And then a miracle occurred.

SO....
Do you want to know how much weight I added to my pregnant ass after 4 (FOUR) packages of Oreos in two weeks? Do you? DO YOU?

One friggin pound.

I have no idea how that happened, maybe it was the constant movement what with chasing the childrens around. Never mind that in any other circumstance I would have gained 10 pounds from eating just one of those packages. I am not questioning this miracle. I am loving it and giving it liquor and BJs until it decides to live with me forever. I am dry humping this miracle because ONE POUND. !!!

My OB was not pleased with my diet, but was happy with the entire inspection. I had no bad stuff in my pee, my blood pressure is still insanely good (98/60. WTF?) and I am measuring where I should be: 32 cm at 32 weeks. Sweet! Plus the baby's heartbeat was a perfect 144. So perhaps my oreo diet is working, oh skeptical doctor person...

Before I went to the OB's I applied for an Administrative Assistant position at a local school. This is the first job I have ever applied for that I knew I wasn't going to get. There were at least 10 people in the room, all ladies, perfectly coifed and dressed and knowing their typing speed and crap. I looked at the sign-in sheet, and there were at least 50 people signed in for the job. I am not at all qualified for this position to begin with, and the secretary who was taking the apps let me know that. Bite me lady, it was good practice.

After talking with a few of the vastly more qualified candidates who had been job hunting for months, and taking a look at the paper my Mom left here with stories of people who had been looking for jobs for years, I am now very sad about the prospect of changing careers. At the moment. Because there are a lot of people who need positions more than I do, and I actually make a pretty good living. I'm still going to try, but I also am going to try to take the long view and wait for something good. My real goal is to go back to school and get a degree/job in horticulture, and to get the fuck out of day care. However, I got kisses today from the little ones for no reason, and that makes up for a lot. This is a stable, well paying job that just happens to be very difficult. I may look for help for the winter, so that I do not end up on my own for weeks at a time stuck in a house with 6 children. That's going to take some figuring out.

In the mean time, I am going to pursue some options to make cash on the side so that I might be able to reduce the number of kids, or something. SOMETHING! I have no idea. Corset making, sewing classes, teaching henna, I guess I could actually do something with the Etsy store, who knows? The future's fuzzy, what with the new baby and associated sleep deprivation on the horizon. We'll just have to see.

Lastly, John did an awesome thing today. My birthday falls on Mother's day this year, so my Mom is taking E tomorrow night. John got us tickets to an honest to god in a theater movie (Star Trek) and reservations at a fancy pants fondue restaurant. I am even going to wear a dress. Maybe high heels. Well, high for me. I am a bare foot kinda girl.

So happy weekend, happy Mother's Day, and hooray for a date!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Can't wait to hear it

I keep having this vision of getting on the scale tomorrow and having the nurse say something like "Girl, WHAT have you been EATING?" Because my OB's office is all cool like that. (It's not. These are dry, dry people.) I'm trying to get in as much water as possible, because I do not want protein in my pee again. Stupid not being able to drink caffeine free coke all day...

Speaking of drinking, I nearly had John pick up some O'Douls today. N/A beer is so sexy, isn't it? Long story very short, it was a rough day and after the Beer Dream a beer sounded great. I ended up skipping, however. Instead I finished my resume, had my first play-date for E and her friend, and had some ice cream. I am REALLY excited to find out how much I weigh tomorrw. REALLY.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Week 31.9999

In the past two weeks I have eaten 4 (FOUR) packages of Oreos. I'm calling it the fortnight of fattening. And boy, howdy, am I excited to see how much weight I've gained in two weeks when I go to see the OB on Friday. In my defense, it's been a hell of a two weeks. Mom came over yesterday to give me a break~I went to the store (where there is a bank branch/center thing) to deposit checks, and ended up breaking down and getting that fourth Oreo package. I then came back to my house, sat in the garage crying like an idiot and eating cookies. Three kids teething, two kids going through the terrible twos, a three and four year old fighting like sisters and a 2 year old that won't stop peeing her pants. Plus, I now move at the speed of mold, can't bend over and am not sleeping well at all. Pregnancy! All the sexy you wish would make you rich instead of tired.

When I came in from the garage my Mom had successfully gotten my child to sleep, which is a fucking miracle, and she then ordered me to bed. I woke up feeling much better. As did my child. And all the other kids, who slept for an average of 2.5 hours each. Sleepy = cranky= miserable for all involved. One part of this whole melt down was the fact that the job hunt is stupid right now. If it's something I'm interested in it's not local, I'm not qualified or the company is not hiring. If it is a job I'd hate, I'm qualified and they are hiring RIGHT NOW. But I must give birth and take maternity leave before I start a new job. Also: school crap. There is a school that has what I am looking for, but it is over an hour away with little to no online class offerings. John has offered to move to the nearest big city, but I do not want to live there. It's where Beck lives, and I hate that city. It's cold, snowy, miserable and cold. Did I mention the snow? I want to live somewhere WARMER. Preferably where people know how to drive. Not that I'd mind seeing Beck more often, but ugh. No snow belt for me.

Well, that was full of bitching! On to baby: She is playing basketball. Inside my womb. From 7:30 pm to 2 am, usually. Which is fun, except when it isn't. She can now get her feet into my ribs, and has been doing the fun trick of pressing on my bladder at odd moments. It makes you feel like you're going to pee your pants rightnow, and then it's gone. I'll miss these moments when they're gone. I really will. There's nothing else in the whole world like feeling your child move inside you, and knowing that that little person will be out and growing up and driving soon. Also, that in 8 to 10 weeks you can have that beer or glass of wine you've been dreaming about for a week now. I keep waking up freaking out, thinking I've fucked up, then realizing it was a dream.

Ugh, baby's up, gotta go put her back to sleep.