Wednesday, October 28, 2009

They eat time like candy

Having two kids is kind of like living in a black hole that absorbs time instead of light. I love them both more than life, but Mama needs to take a bath. A long one. In solitude and silence. Please.

As I type this B is sitting in her chair next to me grabbing toys and trying to get them in her mouth. And smiling. Scratch that, she's SMILING! There is nothing little about her smile. It's huge and gummy and adorable. It gets me through my day. Literally. Thank heaven for little girls that eat faces and grab hair and roll over occasionally. And that squeal when happy. YAY!

Tonight I have physical therapy, then I'm going to sign up for my first photography class. Then I'm going to haul ass on E's Halloween costume, because we are days away, and it is not finished. I overestimate the time I have on any given day by 75%, so I need to get some serious work done. Haven't even thought about my costume yet. If nothing else I'll use last year's and just paint my face to be dead. That always works!

I love baby yawns. Just thought I'd throw that in.

In surprising news, it seems that E can read. Holy shit. Once that clicked, it clicked! She's now writing letter combinations and sounding them out. It's been lots of fun for all of us. I may have no time, but I have a lot of fun!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


You can file this under "it figures:"

I went to physical therapy tonight and was given a thorough once-over. I was put in traction for a little bit after some ultra-sound therapy and a deep heating treatment. I was advised not to "bounce, jump, use weights or arm motions up or in front of my body." That pretty much kills 30 Day Shred for right now, eh? With any luck this should only last a week or two, and then I'll be back on track. But still, dammit. I was psyched, I was ready, I was committed. So instead of busting my ass with Jillian tonight, I walked away my pounds with Leslie. I've been hanging out with Leslie on and off for about six years now, and I can repeat the workout with her. I despise it. It's better than nothing, though. Annoying, but beats a brick to the head. I'm hoping my PT works very quickly.

This can be filed under "unexpected:"

John has decided to take a break from classes next quarter, which means I'll be taking my photo class with no problem. He's stressed, tired and needs a break apparently. I'm worried that he'll just quit school, but I also agree that his class load is too much this quarter, and that he is tiredm, stressed and needs a break. Adding to the stress is the fact that almost all the classes are online and our computer really wants to shit the bed right now. It's running terribly slow, it runs its fan all the damn time, and you can hear it wheezing in its old age every time John tries to load his GIS stuff. He just walked by and told me that he is "so OK with this!" so I guess he's looking forward to some time off.

Not to be filed:

My poor, old cat is wheezing. She has asthma (apparently) and the thing I use to give her her medicine is broken. I have not been able to make it to the vet this week to get her stuff made into a liquid with a new dispenser, so she sounds horrible. This cat is somewhere around 15 or so, is my cat and loves me. She really loves me. She picked me, sleeps on me, follows me around and talks to me. Therefore I feel very guilty that she is so wheezy, since I am her person and responsible for her. Tomorrow I WILL make it to the vet and get her steroids. The wheeze will stop and my kitty will feel better. Poor kitty!

And for those of you who have read this far: B rolled over today! W00t!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

30 Day Shred challenge and The Invasion

One: If you read Indie HomeEc, go there now. If not, your loss. Yay!

Two: I am going to do something really stupid for 30 days. Can you guess what it is? Yes?! You are bright people. I am going to kill myself by working out to 30 Day Shred for 30 days. I started tonight. Here are the basics:
  • I will do 30 Day Shred for 30 days. Those will not be consecutive days; I have a baby, people. But as close to consecutive as possible. Fridays are optional. It's my freaking night off. My. Only. One.
  • I am starting at level 1, with no weights. We will see about weights after I talk to the physical therapist tomorrow. I am trying to get healthier, not cause myself more pain. However, if it's OK's, I will start using weights. I'll see how much they weigh once we get there. (Can't remember, too lazy to get up after working out.)
  • I will move up levels, etc, once I can do level 1 with weights and without feeling like I am going to die. This leads to...
  • I need to get my inhaler back. That exercise induced asthma sucks ass. Doctor was supposed to write me a script for one last time I was in, but forgot. Not sure how to proceed on that one. Dammit.
  • I am not changing my eating habits one damn bit. Fuck you, Jillian Anderson and your skinny ass. Wait! I actually love you! But I am still going to eat what I want when I want. Let's see you make me lose weight on those terms, eh lady?
  • By this time tomorrow all you will hear from me is "ow ow ow ow ow ow."
  • I'm going to list my stats here for all to see and lament. I mean, you will feel better about yourselves! Because my stats are sad. But! If they are public, then I will be more motivated to continue. *sigh*
  • I loves me some bulleted lists!
Stats, Day One:
  • Weight: 176.5
  • Bust: 43"
  • Waist: Check back next time. Too lazy to find tape measure.
  • Hips: 43" ish. *See previous line.
  • Feeling about myself naked in the mirror: Wah + 2 kids + oh dear god, this is sad.
Revealing look, isn't it?

Finally, THE INVASION...

Every year we get hit with what those of us 'round these parts affectionately refer to as "The Ladybug Invasion." It is also known as "Those Fucking Ladybugs" and "That Time of Year When It's Fun To Watch People Walk Outside Because Of The Dancing and Spitting." Thousands of ladybugs fly past our area this time of year, for some unknown reason. I've never seen anything like it. They get into your house every time you open your door, and even when you don't. They are everywhere. It's as cool as it is awful. Today I took the kids outside and spent a fair amount of time rescuing ladybugs from a cruel squishing fate, brushing them off myself and the baby, and getting them out of hair. It was 72 outside, though, so we needed to be out. There are maybe 10 days like this left this year, then we are stuck inside and miserable. Bugs or no bugs, we were going to get some fresh air and sunshine. I'll let you know if any other cool invasion stuff happens.

Right now, however, I'm going to go upstairs and go to sleep. John's stuck on a long, stupid assignment for a three credit class and is pretty severely pissed off that he's already been working on this thing for 1.5 hours and it is less than half finished. For a stupid 3 credit class. He hates them with a Golem-level hate. Poor guy. The 3 credit classes are always the ones that have the most assignments, and the most time consuming busy work. I, however, need my sleep. So I'm going to kiss the dude and call it a night. I have shredding to do tomorrow, and lots of "ows" to get ready for!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Fail and frustration, can they equal Win?

So once again time has flown. At least this time it was less than two weeks between posts! Currently we are struggling with a day care cold. One child is out with a temp of 104, but his parents were on vacation anyway. I hope we missed that window of contagion, especially with my tiny B. Those fevers are scary. So far the rest of us just have headaches, runny noses and a bit of the sore throat. E, B and I waited for two hours, in the cold, Saturday to get flu shots for those of us over 6 months old. It sucked, but it's done. Now we are ill-ish. Things could be worse, though, and John made us some awesome Indian food last night to get our blood moving. After dinner my lungs cleared out with that good spicy-food-hack that means so much to me. My lungs are much better!

B is doing great, by the way. As is E. I have some fun pictures of our trip to the pumpkin patch this weekend, but in order to post them I need to get on the other computer, which is tough these days. John is on it all the time for school, and I can't leave the kids unattended, even during naptime thank you two year old boys, to hop on and upload pics. I'm going to try tonight while John's at class. So the next post might be all photos. You wouldn't mind that, would you?

Speaking of photos, John mentioned today that he forgot to take a class. I don't know how that happens. Anyway, this means I might not get to take my first photography class next quarter. On one hand, there's no rush, I was planning on taking one class a quarter until John's finished with his degree. Maybe less, depending on how life's going. On the other hand, I was really looking forward to this class, and having it help me get through the horrible winter months. A distraction, if you like. It would be something to do, and also a step towards a new job once this one if done. I'm going to beat this one until the current kids are in school, at least in the most likely scenario. But I'd like to take a few steps towards that new, potty-training-free life. I'm looking at a way to pay for most of the class myself, if not all of it. I also need to save up for Christmas, because I want to spoil my hard working husband. Kid's gifts come out of the family account, but we pay for the other person's gifts ourselves. So using my personal funds for class is out. I'm going to set up an account through a website my mom told me about and take Christmas pics of the kids and try to sell them to their parents. No idea if this will work or not, but hell, it's worth a try. I really want to take that class.

That's been the over-riding thought in my mind these days-free. I love my kids, and love the kids I watch. I really do. However, they are small, and underfoot. I would love to enjoy the fact that I now move slowly through my days, but I don't. The days still rush by, I just get less done and I have more to do. I am never free of the arguing. I am never free to go where I want when I want. Even a day trip is difficult, let alone a weekend away. I am always addressing the needs of someone, usually a demanding someone, who wants food to go in or to clean up the stuff that comes out. I feel like all my time is spent cleaning, and it's a Sisyphean effort. John tries to help, but 1) he's in school; 2) he's not the best at housekeeping; 3) I'm not the best at telling how best to help. While I love what I do a lot of the time, I also feel trapped by it. I adore my children, but I want a week to myself at this point. Not likely while breast feeding. John has talked about having another baby someday, and while I love the baby cute and pudgy, smiling and adorable right now, I know what's coming. I know the tantrums, the fits, the hurts and heartbreaks. I know what pregnancy is like, and nursing, and birth. All wonderful, and hard. I also know what losing a baby is like. I've lost three. I don't know if I'm up to handling that again, either. My friend once told me that being a parent is the hardest thing you'll ever do, and also the best. It's true, so very true. But now the kids are getting up, and I'm needed back in the fray. Hopefully I'll see you sooner as opposed to later!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Holy Moly!

I can't believe it's been this long since my last post again. Damn! Things have just busy here, especially with a baby who feels that nap time is her time with Mommy. It's OK with me, but it means you guys get neglected. Plus I've been having some computer issues that have kept me from posting: viruses and the crap. Luckily my brother-in-law was in town this weekend and he fixed us right up. He rocks!

Oddly, or not so oddly, I have been crashing really early lately. 9 is a usual time now, and that means I'm getting nothing done. I have piles of laundry in my room that are well over 5 feet tall. It's clean, but I haven't folded it. E's Halloween costume is nowhere near done, or even started. Nevermind the cleaning, etc. Bleh.

Other than the huge life-pile I am wallowing in, things are OK. We are contemplating my return to school, John's continuation of school, the holiday travel situation, and more. B is growing too fast, E is writingand starting to read, and the cats are nuts. Same old.

This post is really, really dull.